


A Heavenly Way to Die

by corybanticGloom (lalune_et_lesetoiles)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Death, Demon AU, Demonic Possession, Demons, Gore, M/M, No one is alive, Violence, bad things happen, dave and karkat do a lot of talking, dave does a lot of thinking about things alone, i am bad at titles, just btw, like a lot of gore, no one is happy, theres a lot of flashback towards the end because i am a terrible writer, they are so in love but dont even kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 11:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7267201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalune_et_lesetoiles/pseuds/corybanticGloom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave can't remember anything before his hangover. Jade is definitely missing. He wishes Karkat would help him find her. </p><p>This is a one shot and the description is a little vague so as not to spoil #plot but pls pay attention to the tags wow there is a lot of violence and gore</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heavenly Way to Die

**Author's Note:**

> ive had this in a word doc for months and got tired of it. it isn't what i wanted it to be, but thats alright. its what youre all getting.

The stench of booze hits Dave before the headache does. Headache isn’t the right word for it, he thinks, pressing his eyelids closer together. It’s more like someone’s driving an icepick through his temples. The alarm is going off, though, and he figures the haunting notes screeching out from his iPhone will kill him before the light does, so he pries his eyes open long enough to hit snooze.

Now, sitting up, he has eight solid minutes to figure out just what in the hell went on last night that has him feeling like he was hit by a goddamn train before Marimba starts blasting in his ears again. He wastes three of them puking up stomach acid into the waste bin beside his bed before deciding that, nope, breakfast plans with Rose are postponed until the spins stop. Alarm, off.

“The fuck even happened yesterday?” Dave mumbles to himself, surveying his bedroom.

Last thing he remembers is a tumultuous phone conversation with Jade. She was yelling at him, furious, blaming herself for John again.

John. Hell, it’s been two months and the name still has Dave’s stomach lurching like he’s about to jump off a cliff. No one questions why Jade thinks the whole thing was her fault- she was the only one there when it happened. When the cops showed up, she was three blocks away pressed up behind a dumpster, wondering how the hell she ran away fast enough to make it out alive, wishing she’d been strong enough to stay and fight with John.

Doesn’t mean Dave forgives her for all the shit she’s pulled since then. A botched necromancy attempt that left her arm with third degree burns that still won’t quite heal, finding her passed out on his doorstep at six in the morning because she got too wasted the night before to remember how to knock. Yeah, Jade has not been doing so hot and Dave is having a less than smooth time trying to handle it. It’s not like John dying didn’t hit him hard, too. It’s not like he doesn’t miss his best bro.

There was something more to the argument yesterday though, Dave thinks, doing his best to replay the conversation. He’d gotten home from work, and some of his shit was messed up. Jade had broken into the apartment while he was gone and taken- taken-

Fuck, his migraine.

Dave shrugs off the argument, reaching for a bottle of aspirin. If it had him blacking out last night, he’s not so sure he wants to remember it this morning. Right, the drinking. Dave finds himself frowning looking at the surprisingly normal state of his room. No holes in the walls, no chairs turned over, no angry raps or broken instruments. Just a bottle of Jack, empty, and one of bro’s old snifters sitting neatly on the bedside table.

Not Dave’s typical blackout, then. He grabs for the snifter and makes a walk towards the kitchen before ditching the idea entirely and burying the glass firmly at the bottom of the trashcan. Living in this hellhole apartment is enough reminder of bro, don’t need to bother washing all his old shit for keepsakes.

The blaring green light on the microwave informs him that it is only nine thirty six in the morning. Still plenty of time to make that breakfast date with Rose, then, if he showers fast enough. Rushing a bit seems better than the concept of disappointing his dear, sweet sister. She hasn’t taken so kindly to his recent drinking habits, not with her own track record, not when it’s Dave. Dave who’s held her hair back way too many goddamn times, she frequently reminds him, to be falling into their dirty family secret himself. Avoiding another of those lectures has him struggling out of his binder to get into the shower.

Shit does his chest ache this morning. Sleeping in a binder is never good on him, but he must have done something yesterday to truly fuck up his ribs. There’s a hefty bruise forming on his left side, blooming like a bloody flower under his skin. Dave curses under his breath as he traces its outline with his fingers, prodding at the discoloration. Doesn’t feel like he broke any ribs- he remembers that pain all too clearly from his childhood strifes with bro. Still, wearing the binder to sleep was a stupid decision, one he thought he gave up years ago.

It takes him thirteen minutes to locate his keys once he’s showered- his frustrating ability to keep track of time sticks with him even in the deepest of hangovers, then. Good to know. Dave winds up finding the keys in the place they should be, but never are- the key hooks by the front door. This has him feeling uneasy. Drunk Dave has hidden his keys in a ton of wild places before- under the mattress, at the bottom of a box of cheerios, in the freezer- but never where they’re _supposed to be._ Shit, did one of his friends drive him somewhere last night?

Calling Jade is a bad idea. She’s either at work or still pissed at him, and maybe also briefly stole his car last night and/or drove his drunk ass home from god knows where. Still, he’s got this queasy feeling in his chest that has him dialing her number. It goes straight to voicemail. Helpful.

He wastes another seven minutes attempting to wash this caked on mud off his Converse before opting for boots instead. Drunk Dave just _had_ to wear the new shoes on his drunken tirade, didn’t he?

The car is out of gas, too. Yeah, someone was definitely driving last night, and Dave so very seriously hopes it wasn’t his drunk ass.

Unsurprisingly, Rose’s jeep pulls up behind Dave’s car as he stares vacantly at the “E” on his dashboard. He rolls down the window as she walks up next to him.

“Funny, I expected to find you passed out in a pool of your own vomit when you failed to show up on time.” Rose frowns, elbows resting on door of the car.

“That was so three weeks ago, baby sis.” Dave chides, leaning away from her.

It doesn’t help any, she leans toward him and inhales, “For once you don’t actually smell like a bar, Dave. Are you finally growing up? Is that… blood on your jacket?”

Dave looks at the stain she’s referring to, big and brown, covering the wrists of his coat. “Shit. Wish I could tell you. Does that mean you were definitely not the one using my car last night?”

“So you _were_ wasted. And bothering Jade, apparently, unless you were drunk driving. At least _she_ didn’t do anything stupid.” Rose sighs.

“Stupid? Thought I was the only one making shit choices recently.” Dave comments.

“Were you already blacked out when you texted me about her yesterday afternoon? Jesus, Dave.” She pulls open the car door and motions for Dave to scoot over into the passengers seat. He complies, resting his head on the dashboard as she slides in next to him.

“The fuck was I texting you about?” He moans into his hands.

“You said you were worried about her, that you had to go chase her down before she did something awful. Any idea if that was even slightly grounded in reality?” Rose is annoyed, it’s obvious in her short tone, but she doesn’t forget to place a comforting hand on Dave’s shoulder, one which he doesn’t forget to shrink away from.

“Maybe we should go check on her.” No, he has no fucking idea. Hell.

“You seem to be out of gas.” She smiles, “Get in my jeep.”

The slamming of the car doors has Dave’s migraine acting up again.

 

Jade’s apartment appears normal, save for the screaming dog (that noise is not a bark, Dave refuses to call it a bark) at the door.

“Rose, Bec never makes noise like that. Something’s up.” Dave does his best to peek through the blinds, but all he sees is the white of Bec’s fur.

“Try knocking, Dave.” Rose is trying to pass off her tone as annoyed, but Dave knows her well enough to hear the anxiety in her throat.

“I _am._ ” There’s no answer, though, save for the increased volume of the dog.

“We have to get inside.” Rose decides. Dave is way ahead of her, already wrapping his fist up in his sleeve. He punches clean through the glass pane on her front door, wiggles his hand around inside until he finds the lock. It’s not like he’s never punched through a window before, or a wall, or met the cold metal of bro’s sword with his knuckles, but this absolutely _aches._ Feels like his fist is sore, like he hit something yesterday, hard. Guess that maybe gives him a clue as to the bloody stains on his coat. Behind him, Rose is cackling.

“You know I had a key, right jackass?” She tells him.

He can’t help but snort, picking a few stray pieces of glass from his knuckles, “Guess I owe Jade a new window.”

“Just let me get it, Dave.” She brushes his hand away, picks at the glass in his fist herself. She’s better at it, has longer nails and fingers that are nimble from knitting.

“Dude, we don’t have time for this, come on.” There are still chunks of metal lodged under his right shoulder blade from that time bro shattered his sword underneath him in the seventh grade. He can handle a little glass for the length of time it takes to search Jade’s apartment.

Bec is on them the second the door cracks, begging to be let out. Rose handles him. Dogs have never been much of Dave’s thing, large and loud and space-invading. He immediately gets to calling Jade’s name, teasing her with inside jokes at first, voice becoming more panicked the longer she doesn’t respond.

“Did you find her?” Rose asks, back indoors.

“Oh, yeah, can’t you tell sis? This is invisible Jade, right here next to me. Say hi, invisible Jade.” Dave punches the air next to him as if he’s giving Jade a tap on the shoulder.

“Is now the best time for sarcasm?” Rose rolls her eyes.

“Quit fucking around with the dog and help me look for clues or something.” Dave breathes out.

“Clues? Dave, we’re not solving a murder here. She lets her phone die all the time. Maybe she fell asleep at the library again.” Rose reasons. The tone in her voice tells him she doesn’t much believe what she’s saying anymore than he does.

“Something’s wrong, Rose. I know it is.” Just _being_ in here is making Dave’s stomach do flip-flops. If he could just remember what the fuck went on last night…

“Check her room. Maybe she left a note, or her journal. I’m going to check her laptop.” Rose orders.

“You know her password?” Dave asks. It’s not like he didn’t know that Jade and his sister were friends. It’s just, he thought he was Jade’s best bro, but here Rose is with her key and password and shit.

“Jealous?” Rose raises an eyebrow.

“Shut up.”

Sometimes his conversations with Rose make him happy he didn’t grow up living in the same house as her.

He doesn’t pick at that string too much further.

Dave swears that Jade’s bedroom hasn’t changed since they were kids. It’s still all flowers and plants and stuffed animals piled together haphazardly. He knows it should feel wrong going through her drawers, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t done it before. There’s nothing much in most of them- textbooks, notes for her thesis, pictures of John, letters from John, letters about John, newspaper clippings of John’s obituary, scraps of the front-page article on his death. Shit that’s way too masochistic for her to be keeping around. Shit all three of them have plastered to their bedroom walls, Jade and Rose and Dave.

There’s something under the stack of depressing John memorabilia that has Dave thinking he’s right to be worried. Old parchment filled with symbols and ancient languages that Dave recognizes far too well. This is magic shit. Not the cute healing nonsense everyone and their goddamn hot mom are trying out. It’s dark shit, black magic, bro level necromancy that has Dave shuddering back memories of a very specific possessed puppet. Jade shouldn’t _have_ this, never mind next to her John shrine. He stops on one page in particular, something Arabic scratched out in her flowery handwriting. It shouldn’t have him feeling so terrible, these words he can’t read in her beautiful penmanship, but something about that page is making it harder for him to breathe.

There’s a voice in the back of his head that’s telling him that he _knew_ she had this stuff. They’d found her in the cemetery, him and Rose, digging at John’s grave, chanting in some language she never should have been fucking around with. That’s all this is, that’s all this is.

And then there’s his gut that’s telling him that this is more, this is worse.

Demon, demon, demon-

Bro’s face hovering over him, Cal standing there, standing on his fucking own, watching, laughing, cackling-

Fuck, the migraine.

Rose finds him six minutes later holding his head on Jade’s bed.

“Dave?” She crouches down in front of him, grabs at his knees.

“’M fine.” He lies, poorly.

“Is it John?” She asks. She knows he has these god damn panic attacks. Fuck her.

“Bro.”

“Shit. Dave, I know that night at the cemetery- I know that it was harder on you. But she’s not your brother. After seeing what that did to you, she wouldn’t do that again. She is not your brother.” Rose tells him.

“I know, okay? I know. Just- just take me home.” There’s still this aching feeling in his chest raging against all his common sense, telling him that she is, she is, Jade is just like bro.

“She’ll turn up in a couple days, Dave.” Rose reassures him.

He doesn’t say anything. That comforting voice inside his head is suddenly fucking silent and he isn’t sure what to make of that.

 

Four days later and they’re still having the same conversation, him and Rose, this time sprawled out on the floor of his apartment. She knows Dave has called out of work one too many times since Jade’s disappeared, figures he’s probably skipping meals again too and is all worried about it, as if living on almost no nutrition isn’t something he got real used to in his formative years.

He supposes he doesn’t mind the pizza she brought over, though.

“You haven’t heard from her, have you?” Dave asks. He should wait longer, see how Rose is feeling, find out how her book is going, but he can’t. Doesn’t give two shits about any of that with Jade gone.

“She probably just went away for a few days, Dave.” Rose sounds more like she’s trying to convince herself than him.

“Right after having some ominous argument with me she just decides to ditch Bec and go camping or some shit?” He’d believe it more if Bec were gone, too.

“She’s used to having her grandfather around to take care of Bec. Or John.” Rose reasons.

“So she just up and forgot they’re both dead?” Bullshit.

“Obviously not what I’m suggesting. But she’s not exactly the most- I wouldn’t be surprised if she forgot she had to make arrangements for Bec.” She sounds like she actually believes herself, now.

“And just didn’t tell us.”

“She _could_ have told wasted Dave. Not her fault you don’t remember, _big brother._ Besides, you know she isn’t used to being here, being around actual humans that she has to be accountable to.” She sounds annoyed.

“I was wondering why you weren’t more worried, fuck. You still can’t stand her, can you?” Dave rolls his eyes.

Rose twitches, visibly, “You know there are things about her that always… but she’s my friend, Dave. Just because I’m not running around pretending to be her unwanted knight in shining armor-“

“Okay enough with that _shit_ , I’m not her knight I’m just not going to let her-“

“ _Let_ her? Jesus Christ, Dave you don’t get to decide-“

“No, no, I do get to decide that she can’t fuck around with _demons._ ”

“ _She isn’t your brother._ How many times do I have to tell you that? Not everyone is your goddamn- oh, hell, Dave, fuck.”

She knows talking about bro is crossing one hell of a line with Dave, and she knows trying to make Dave feel guilty about his goddamn trauma is completely unacceptable.

Dave preemptively drops his pizza back on his plate, waiting for the flashbacks to start, the images of Cal watching him sleep, of bro covered in blood chanting in the center of a circle, the-

But they don’t. Nothing comes. He tastes the edges of them, but something inside him is swallowing them up.

“It’s fine, Rose. I know you didn’t mean it.” Dave tells his sister.

“I just don’t want you worrying about her like this. I’m going to find her, Dave, I’ve got my mom helping me.” She assures him.

Her mother. His mother, too, technically speaking, not that she’s made much of an effort. Not that the lady doesn’t have her hands full, putting down demon-summoning scum like bro.

“You using magic to find her?” Dave asks.

“Nothing like what he did, Dave.” She promises.

Dave has a harder time separating dark and light magic in his head.

After she leaves, after he’s spent hours laying awake wondering what the fuck managed to ward off his panic attack tonight, he dreams of bro and his secret death cabin, of bodies and blood and incantations he wishes he could forget all the words to.

 

Dave goes to work on Monday. He tells himself it’s because he can’t afford to get fired, but if he’s being honest, he can’t stand being cooped up in that apartment anymore. There’s too much shit that reminds him of bro, and his brain has been doing this god awful thing the past few days where it refuses to even acknowledge how uncomfortable that makes him.

So yeah, he drives his ass to one of the local high schools in his gaudy security guard uniform and looks the fuck forward to keeping these kids in line all day. Sometimes it bums him out, being here, since he never got to go to an actual high school himself and all but- fuck, what was he thinking about? Seriously, the brain-turning-on-static the second he thinks about bro thing is starting to wig him out.

Hold up, red alert- kid trying to sneak the fuck out in between periods. No more time for bullshit self-reflection, Dave, time to act like a goddamn adult.

“Aw, shit, Lawrence, are you kidding me? Again?” Dave calls out to the girl. She spins around real fast and starts talking a mile a minute.

“Dave naw no I’m not cutting class or anything I just had to grab my homework from my friends car and shit for English-“

“Oh okay cool and you needed a cigarette for that too?” He points his thumb towards the pack in her hand.

“Come on, can’t you just let me go? Damn.” She rolls her eyes, tossing her pack towards him- she knows he’s going to take it, he always takes it.

“Don’t get why you’re doing something dumb like smoking, kid. You’re better than that.” He tells her, walking her back towards the entrance of the school.

“Mr. B. has been on my _ass_ lately. Didn’t feel like putting up with his bullshit today, always asking me questions when I’m not raising my hand and shit.” She explains.

“You do his homework today?” Dave asks.

“Fucking ‘course I did, that shit ain’t hard.” She tells him.

“Word. I’m going to cut you some slack and write you a late pass, let me know if he gives you any-“

Dave stops in the middle of his sentence. Something is wrong, off. His head is screaming at him that something is going the fuck on. _There’s a fucking demon. Run. RUN._

Dave doesn’t run. Dave has dealt with demons before. Just has to shut that fight-or-flight response right the fuck up.

Beside him, Lawrence is laughing her ass off, “Yo, DS, you just stopped talking. The fuck is going on with you, man?”

“Fuck, here’s your late pass kid. Just get the fuck inside. Go, seriously, go to _class._ ” He instructs.

She isn’t used to him being so gruff. None of the kids are. She goes, bewildered.

Dave turns to face the empty street. He doesn’t know where it is. He doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary, anything sinister. Maybe it’s just his paranoia-

_No. There is a fucking demon. Get OUT._

Okay, so his intuition really is thinking that something is up. But if he can’t figure out where it is, fuck, maybe he should run. Get in his car and go. No, no, no. Can’t abandon the kids, no fucking way. He’s got to remember some shit of bro’s that can protect them, some barrier spell, something.

All that’s coming to mind are incantations that’ll bring even more bloodthirsty shits into this dimension. Shit, shit, shit-

His brain might not have it together, but his body does. His body knows damn well that if he’s going to do anything to protect this building and the kids inside, he’s going to have to give up some blood. It’s not so bad slicing through his palm with a pocket knife- it used to be, when bro would ask him as a kid, but now it’s all scar tissue and fucked up nerves anyway.

Dave has no idea what the fuck he’s supposed to _do_ with the blood though. He remembers devil traps, wards for ghosts, summoning circles, all this useless bullshit. Did bro even teach him how to keep demons out of a building?

_Dude, RUN._

Dave tells his brain to kindly shut the fuck up, he is not ditching a bunch of children.

_Fine. If you’re too stupid to run, shut up and draw some useful goddamn seals._

Suddenly, he’s got it. Four seals, four circles, one for north, east, south, and west. He’s got to slather this shit all over the building in blood, and he’s got to do it fucking fast.

Designs like this are usually hard for him. If there’s one thing his art has taught him, it’s that he’s fucking terrible at accuracy and detail. Bro hated that shit, tried to beat it out of him by forcing him to activate every fucked up summoning circle he drew and fight whatever the hell monster crawled out of it. Something about this, today, is easier. Maybe it’s because bro isn’t here, hovering. Maybe it’s because he’s doing it to protect some innocent goddamn kids, or because these aren’t some symbols he’s working on memorizing like homework. Whatever the fuck reason, he’s jogged around the entire school in under seven and a half minutes.

He hopes it’s good enough. He’s going to stay the fuck outside and try to fight this thing off just in case it isn’t.

_For the love of- you KNOW a demon hunter, dipshit._

Right. Right, yes, he does know a demon hunter. He thanks his subconscious for reminding him of that as he speed dials Rose’s mom.

“Hey, kiddo, what’s good?” She asks.

“Demon. At my school. There’s a fucking demon somewhere, Rox.” He’s short of breath- he did just run around the entire school while bleeding from an open wound.

“Shit. Give me ten minutes. Distract that fuck, do not let it get those kids Dave.” She hangs up, immediately.

Cute that all of his parental figures expect him to just be able to handle demons.

It takes Rose’s mom eleven and a half minutes to get there. She pulls into the parking lot way too fucking fast, tires screeching, and barely has it in park before she’s running over to Dave’s side, gun in hand. He doesn’t even look at her. He’s frozen fucking solid staring down the black mass of ooze pulling itself out of the gutter across the street.

“Dave. Shit, Dave, is that the only one? Dave, get it _together_.” Roxy shakes him a bit, gun pointed directly at the monster.

“Only one I’ve seen.” Today, that is. It’s stirring up all kinds of memories of creatures in his apartment holding him against a wall till he stuck them with a sword.

“Get inside, kid. Make sure no one comes out ‘till I give you the go ahead. This fucker’s pretty small, should take me ten minutes tops. I’ll try not to use the gun too much- don’t want the cops getting called on me.” She pats him on the shoulder, then hits him a little harder when he doesn’t budge.

_Get. Inside._

Thank fuck his subconscious has its shit together today. He’d have been fucked without it.

It only takes nine minutes before she’s calling him.

“Dave?” She asks, sounding chipper as hell.

“You took care of it?”

“Obviously. Listen, Dave- those seals all over the school, were they...?”

“Mine? Yeah, don’t worry, we don’t have some teen fucking around with magic that we’ve got to hunt down or anything.” He informs her.

“What the hell _were_ those?” She asks.

“What? Shit, I don’t know. They just sort of came to me. Bro must’ve taught ‘em to me. Figured you’d know more about it than I do.” Dave brushes off.

“I never taught that to your father. Demon wards weren’t exactly his trade mark, if you remember.” She sounds suspicious as hell, as if Dave’s the child in the family that’s up to his ass in dark arts.

“Where the fuck else would I have learned them?” He questions.

“I don’t _know._ I’ve never seen anything like them in any of my research.” That remark has Dave’s skin crawling, like he’s hiding a secret or some shit.

“Fuck, do you want to come take all his books or something? I’m sure it’s in there, Jesus.” Maybe that sounds a little too defensive. He isn’t sure why. What does he have to be defensive about, shit?

“…Maybe some other time. Call me if anything else comes up, Dave. Anything.” She hangs up, not waiting for a reply.

He chooses to ignore the guilt in the pit of his stomach because he knows damn well that there’s nothing to be guilty of. Now it’s back to the grind like nothing fucking happened. Hopefully none of the teens were looking out the gymnasium window when Rose’s mom was sending a demon back to hell, or he’s going to have a lot of explaining to do.

 

Dave is still thinking about the seals when he gets home from work. Of course he is, he isn’t about to just up and forget a demon attack at his school anytime soon. That shit doesn’t just happen in the daylight unprovoked.

Then again, just being a Strider probably makes any demon attack provoked. God damn bro and his experiments.

Roxy’s voice is in his head still, telling him that those fucking seals were not a part of Dirk’s experiments. He’s kind of having a hard time convincing himself that she’s _wrong._

Dave remembers his training with bro. All of it. Every excruciating detail. He remembers carving the devil’s trap on the ceiling in the kitchen and painting wards on the floorboards in a concoction of god-knows-who’s blood. He remembers refilling the salt traps on the windows every night at nine-thirty and becoming fluent in Latin before he learned algebra. Dave remembers bro’s tattoos, the ones that spelled out horrible names of horrible devils, and the possession protection seal bro had carved into his own arm. Dave remembers bro holding him down, a week later, to tattoo the same goddamn symbol onto him. He burned it off after bro died, burned at the Latin bro had carved into his skin, tossed the fucking shadow books and dictionaries and notes scratched out in that too-neat handwriting into closets and drawers.

He remembers all that, but not the symbols he painted onto the walls of the school in blood today. Doesn’t remember learning them, doesn’t remember what they look like _now._

For the first time since bro died (died is such a casual word for what happened to bro, all the screaming and blood and _organs_ ) Dave has to look through all that old stuff. He’s got to find those seals, prove to himself that he isn’t going completely mad, that he didn’t just make that shit up.

Except that he can’t. He can’t find them anywhere. He stays up until dawn searching through books, scouring bro’s old notes. Shit, he even boots up the dude’s half-broken computer, hacks through the password system, checks out every file and folder he can get his hands on. They’re stacked with information. Rituals Dave never wanted to find out about, personal memos that leave his heart pounding, disgusting fucked up puppet porn littered with too many non-consensual Dave cameos-

Fuck. _None_ of bro’s shit is helpful in finding the origin of these seals, all it’s doing is solidifying the pure hate for bro inside of Dave. Shit. Hate. He’s never gone so far as to use that phrasing before.

It’s true, though. He hates him. Dave hates his brother. Father. Whatever fucked up version of a guardian the dude actually _was._

He just doesn’t get what has him admitting that _now._ He’s been having all these fucked up thoughts about bro since Jade went missing, thinking about him more than usual then having those thoughts immediately banished into his subconscious. Had she brought up bro in their conversation? No, no. They were arguing about John. He can remember it, almost, barely, like a ghost of a memory. She wanted to bring him back, was going to bring him back and Dave-

Fuck, his _migraine._ He shouldn’t still feel this, hasn’t drank in days but it feels like it’s splitting his head in two. Coffee. Coffee will help. Load his head up with caffeine till he’s feeling more like himself, it works every time. It takes him a good twenty minutes fiddling around with his half-broke coffee pot, but he ends up sitting on the sofa with a steaming cup of joe in his hands. God, he loves coffee. Even shitty, janky, homemade coffee. It tastes- whoa, what? It tastes like shit. Spit-back-in-his-cup shit.

He has to go back to the kitchen to double check that he made it right, that the coffee grounds haven’t spoiled or any shit. Nah, nope, everything is in order. He sips at the coffee again, like his opinion of it will have changed but fuck it tastes awful. Bitter, bold, hot- really just like a standard cup of black coffee. His taste buds just aren’t having it today.

He dumps it down the sink, tries not to think about what he could have fucked up in his head to turn himself off of coffee. Maybe a shower will help the migraine. Besides, it’s Friday. Time for his testosterone shot.

Sitting naked on the toilet, he can’t really help the feeling that someone’s watching him. Rose would probably tell him it’s just some post traumatic shit left over from all the cameras bro always left laying around. It doesn’t make him feel any more settled about it. He ends up injecting into his thigh. Hurts more than him ass, but he just can’t bring himself to stare at his butt for five minutes when he feels like there’s someone else in there with him. He has half a mind to shower with his binder on, too, but winds up just avoiding the hell out of his tits during the soap down process.

Dave isn’t really feeling his whole fucked up paranoia thing, doesn’t want to address what the hell has been up with him recently with his messed up taste buds and missing memories and protective symbols he shouldn’t even know. Bed sounds a hell of a lot nicer. He slides himself into a boxer and t-shirt and falls the hell asleep.

 

 

Rose wakes him up early the next day, quietly demanding he come over for lunch. He hates that about her, the way she can type out “Dave.” on Pesterchum and he caves immediately, after a rant or two. He doesn’t want to go over there this morning, knows exactly why she’s all riled up and doesn’t want her fussing over him. Roxy must’ve talked to her, obviously, told his sister all about those dirty little symbols he was painting all over the school. Now they’re gonna play mom and daughter demon hunting duo, try to wreck his shit.

Only reason he ends up driving to Rose’s before noon is because he’s damn certain there’s nothing to wreck his shit over, and he intends on proving that. She’s sitting on the steps outside her apartment when he gets there, pretending to enjoy the sticky humidity.

“Nice shirt, Dave.” She comments as he slams shut the door of his car.

“Yeah, I bought it myself. Spent my hard earned dollars on this shit.” He jokes. It’s Rose’s shirt, one he stole out of her closet at some point.

“Charming. I’ve got supplies for sandwiches, if you can manage to eat without getting condiments all over my clothes.” Rose’s smirk could kill.

“We pretending this is just about lunch then?” Dave probes, confident she only invited him over to talk about the demon fiasco yesterday.

“For now.” She responds.

Great.

“Nothing to talk about anyway.” Dave pushes her.

“Something has been off with you since Jade went missing, Dave. I wanted- want- to think it’s a coincidence, but after what Roxy has told me it seems like anything but.” She places her hand on the doorframe, blocking him from entering her apartment. Now they’re just arguing on the goddamn sidewalk.

Dave _knows_ something has been off with him. The migraines, the way he’s been thinking about bro, all that shit he can’t remember from the day he argued with Jade, those fucking _symbols_ he drew- but none of it is Rose’s business. He’s got some gross Freudian nightmare shit going on with bro, he knows that’s what it is, and there’s no way in hell he’s going to let Rose or Roxy sink their caring claws into that particular aspect of his brain.

“You want me to drag you through the laundry list of reasons I have to be completely fucked right now, Rose?” If she wants an argument she can have one.

“ _Dave,_ I need you to listen.” The way she says his name has his skin crawling, like she isn’t quite sure she’s talking to him.

“I’m all ears sis.” Except that he isn’t, he’s barely paying attention to her he’s so annoyed.

“I’ve been through your brother’s notes, Dave, way back when shit was… none of the stuff Roxy saw yesterday was in them.” Rose explains.

“Okay which means that it’s some shit he wasn’t trying to teach me, must’ve seen him draw it on the walls at some point. Probably in my blood.” He figures she’ll back down if he starts playing the ‘bro used to cut me open and use my blood for magic’ card.

She doesn’t.

“Dave, that wasn’t magic that humans know about. Roxy and I can’t even begin to locate any similar images in any of our research.” She continues.

“Yeah never figured bro for much of a human, either.” Dave agrees.

“That tattoo he gave you- you actually managed to burn it off, didn’t you?” Dave sees her knuckles go white at her own question, and the reality of what she’s asking hits him like a freight train.

She thinks he’s possessed. Or Roxy does, in all her infinite paranoid wisdom, and has her daughter believing it. He feels his gut twist up in utter horror. He’s got to do something to convince her how goddamn absurd that is or next thing he knows she’ll have him six feet under, cursing the horrorterrors for taking all her friends away from her.

Only he can’t really move he’s so scared, and then his mouth is trying to cover up for his brain’s lack of ability in words he really, truly doesn’t think he’s forming on his own:

“How about your calm your flighty broad ass down before I have you sprawled out on the kitchen table eating your own intestines for dinner.”

He’s not sure who looks more freaked out, him or Rose. She grabs for the doorknob behind her before he gets his shit together enough to _cover that up._

“Woah, Rose, shit, can I be honest?” He plasters his deadpan expression back on best he can.

“Dave what is _wrong_ with you?” Maybe she doesn’t want to believe her possession accusation, either.

“I got real fucked up again last night.” He lies.

“You said you’d call me if you’d been drinking.” She says. He didn’t really say that, she just wishes he would.

“Would have, but you called me first. Asked me to come over and shit before I finished the bottle.” Why is he lying to her again? So she won’t think he’s possessed? Is that really something that needs lying about? A twisting ache in his chest tells him _yes._

“You’re drunk now.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“I started going through bro’s stuff last night, dude. Wanted to find those seals for your mom. I know they’d be helpful if she had them, man, but seeing all his shit- and the things he used to teach me- there’s still blood in the journals, Rose. Like, mine. My blood.” Cue fake bro breakdown. They get her every time.

It gets her now.

“I’d like to be straightforward in saying that being intoxicated isn’t an acceptable excuse for threatening to kill me.” She purses her lips.

“It was ironic.”

“Are we still not past the toxic masculinity?” She asks.

“Being aware of a problem is the first step, sis.” He slurs a little, on purpose, just to keep up the farce.

She sighs deeply before saying, “Just get in my car. I’ll drive you home and make you some food and put you to bed.”

Dave spends the entire car ride pretending to nod off in the passenger’s seat. He lets Rose tuck him into bed when he gets home, and doesn’t say a word when she starts rummaging around in his cabinets trying to confiscate all his whiskey.

This probably reminds her of her mom’s bad days on the booze train. Dave hates doing this to her, but he doesn’t want her thinking he’s possessed before he’s had some time to think through that possibility on his own. She only sticks around long enough to make sure he won’t have anything else to drink before bolting out the door. He is not looking forward to damage control tomorrow.

The second she’s out the door, though, he’s in the bathroom checking out is reflection, “Okay, Strider, let’s calm the fuck down and think through what the fuck just happened, yeah?” Dave says aloud, eyeing himself in the mirror.

“So, okay, some fucked up shit has been happing lately, yeah? That conversation with Jade, all that missing memory, how fucked up my stuff was the next morning-“

Dave pauses his self-directed ramble. His shit honestly was _fucked up_ the next morning. He fell asleep in his binder, which is just some irresponsible and uncomfortable shit he would never get up to under usual circumstances. He found one of bro’s snifters out next to his Jack. Dave doesn’t just use bro’s shit on the regular. He keeps it hidden away in shelves where bro left it, buys plastic cups instead. And then the keys hanging up where he never leaves them, his brand new shoes all muddy (where is there even dirt in the city?), and his car being out of gas like he’d driven somewhere far the night before-

“Fuck, I don’t even remember _starting_ to drink.” He braces himself against the bathroom sink, hanging his head. Nothing about the past week and a half has made a goddamn lick of sense. Not the morning after Jade disappeared, not the seals he drew on the school, not the _shit he just said to Rose_.

“Aw, hell, _I_ didn’t say it, did I?” He says the words laughing, removes his shades to stare himself straight in his fucked up red eyes, “She’s fucking right. She’ll never let me hear the end of this shit, fuck, fuck.”

He should be more freaked out, he knows he should. If he were any other asshole he would be.

“I’m actually motherfucking possessed, aren’t I? Those migraines and shit? My missing memory? You gonna talk to me you coward prick, or do I have to take care of this shit on my own?” There’s no response, no demon etching its own words onto his voice, no angry bubble in the pit of his stomach from some force that isn’t him.

“You wanna play coy? I’m all about that shit. If you’re in my head, you know I know exactly how to deal with scum like you.” Dave pushes himself backwards out of the bathroom, hightails it straight to bro’s room. There’s books in here that know how to deal with this shit. Exorcisms. He knows which book, blood red and leather bound. Bro had him memorizing those spells when he was eight.

 _You ever see someone with a demon inside ‘em, you gotta spit this shit out. Don’t worry about the consequences, kid, don’t listen to the screaming,_ bro had told him back then.

He feels something in him fighting, now, trying to gain control. His hands won’t reach for the books he’s trying for and his migraine is back, but ten times worse. He feels the blackout coming on. It sends him spinning to the floor, struggling for consciousness.

“Hell no mother fucker. This ain’t how Dave Strider goes out.” He grips the wall as tight as he can, forces his eyes open.

He doesn’t need the book. Bro taught this to him, etched it into his brain. He can remember, he can remember, _fuck_ the pain clawing gashes in his brain, he can do this-

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immunde spiritus, omni satanica potestas, omnis incursio-“

He spits it out like fire. The burning in his gut starts immediately, low at first, and then hellish, “-infernalis adversarii, omnis legio-“

And then it’s not him talking anymore.

“ _Fucking Christ STOP IT.”_ The words are coming from his own voice, but they aren’t his. Shit, they aren’t his. His threat to Rose wasn’t some fluke, this exorcism isn’t bullshit paranoia. Oh, god, hell, he’s possessed.

 _“No shit douchebag. You’re a dumb sack of shit, too, for taking this long to figure it out.”_ His voice echoes back at him, higher pitched than normal, aching.

“Seems like you’re the dumb sack of shit for possessing a demon hunter. Should I finish this spell, or you? What, you’ve got nothing to say now? Fine asswipe I’ll take care of it myself: Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomini et virtute-“ Dave starts back at the exorcism. The pain increases tenfold, blood on fire.

“ _No no no no no! Asshole stop you are KILLING US.”_ The demon shrieks, interrupting the spell.

“Kind of the point, man.” Dave responds. He’s a little uncomfortable with how normal it feels to be having an argument with his own voice.

 _“Fuckweasel you aren’t listening! It will kill you too! Look at your arms, shit for brains!”_ The demon sounds desperate. Under normal circumstances, Dave knows hells of better than to just trust the words of a demon. There’s something about this guy that has him listening, though, looking down at his arms and seeing-

“Holy shit.”

The veins in his arm are bright blue and leaking towards the surface of his arms. They’ve burst, some of them, blood spilling out internally, pooling in circles of purple across his skin.

_“You think that’s bad? You should see your internal organs. Most assholes can’t stand seeing this happen to another person, never mind tolerate this pain themselves. So fucking glad I trapped myself in the most suicidal meat suit of the century.”_

“Nah, bro did this all the time, helped people out. This is just- it’ll go away- I’m getting you out of my body, yo.” Dave goes to start the exorcism again, but is gripped by fear. He can’t tell if its his or the demon’s.

 _“Don’t you remember that asshole telling you not to feel guilty about the consequences of an exorcism?”_ The demon squeaks out, taking advantage of his hesitation.

“What, you trying to tell me he killed all those people banishing demons back to hell?” Dave knows bro was a fucking twat, but…

 _“Are you trying to tell me he didn’t have that in him? Think about it, Dave, search through all those precious memories of yours. Did you ever see any of those people leave after he was done with them? Couldn’t you hear them screaming? Didn’t you see the look in your little sister’s eyes today when she thought you were possessed? She thought she was going to have to kill you.”_ The demon tells him.

Something in Dave’s gut has him believing it. He might be masochistic, but he doesn’t have an outright death wish. Most of the time.

“So, what, you’re telling me none of bro’s shit will work? You’re just possessing me? Just me and my brain demon from now till forever?” Dave doesn’t really think he can oblige that.

 _“Figures, right? I end up in the body of the most insane demon hunter’s kid, but there’s not a god damn thing in his entire apartment that can free me from this flesh prison. Don’t think I haven’t thought about exorcism. It’d kill you, right? But me, I just go back to hell. Fine for most folks. Not an option for me.”_ The demon chokes out.

“Why the fuck not?”

_“I’m sorry, did you want to get into the politics of hell right now? You do realize that’s the only thing keeping me from murdering you, right? You are so fucked up.”_

“Something we agree on. Alright but no, if you’re going to be all up in my head tearing through my memories and shit you’re gonna go ahead and tell me who the fuck you are.” Dave presses.

“ _Jesus you’re ridiculous.”_ He sounds petulant as fuck. At least, Dave assumes it’s a he. Do demons even have-

_“NOPE. No no no god if you think about my genitals again I will kill the both of us. Karkat. That’s the name. And if it really matters to you, I can’t go blasting back into hell in a big fat exorcism entrance because I’m a god damn mutant. Cut me open and I bleed the same color as humans. Doesn’t make me too popular, cockmunch. If I’m going home, I have to be a bit more subtle.”_

“Aw you couldn’t woo them with your sweet attitude?” He bats his eyelashes, real sarcastic, before realizing he’s the only body in the room.

 _“You are honestly the worst person I could have been trapped with.”_ Karkat sighs, still through Dave’s voice.

“So how the fuck do I get you out.”

_“Fuck if I know.”_

“Why’d you even possess me? Is my rockin’ bod just disappointing for you? Wish you’d picked some sassy broad instead?” Dave jokes. Probably he shouldn’t joke with the demon.

_“Meat suits aren’t my thing.”_

“Right so why are you in one.” This question has Karkat real silent. “Cuz I kind of figure it has something to do with the fact that my best friend is missing.”

 _“I realize you’ve been flipping your shit over her this whole time, but I have no idea who she even is.”_ It’s a lie. Dave knows. Karkat knows. Maybe Dave knows because Karkat knows.

“Dude.”

_“I said I don’t fucking know.”_

“You’re lying.” And then a wave of guilt passes over him.

_“If I could help you find her, I would.”_

“So you’re going to.”

_“Dave.”_

“So you’re going to.”

“ _Fuck off.”_ There’s the guilt, again. _“…yeah. Yeah, I’m going to.”_

“Is this a part of why all the other demons bully you, bro? You agree to help humans on the regular or some shit?” If Dave can get this dude distracted enough, he can flip the tables here, figure out how to dig through Karkat’s memories, go rescue Jade.

_“I can hear what you’re thinking, and it isn’t going to work. I don’t fucking know where your goddamn precious Jade is, and even if I did, I’m a centuries-old demon with a hell of a lot more practice fighting windbag humans out of my consciousness than you can imagine.”_

“Why don’t you just take over then, bro? Control my body like the rest of you shits always do. I don’t get your shtick.”

_“My shtick is not being a creepy asshole. My shtick is not having to deal with physical fucking limbs. My shtick is finding away out of this fucked up brain of yours that doesn’t leave us both bleeding.”_

“Aw, you don’t want me bleeding? Babe you care about me? Dave and Karkat forever.”

_“Don’t make me regret not skewering you when I had the chance.”_

“So, uh, is this just the way shit is now? I just don’t get alone time anymore?” Dave asks, picking at the hem of his binder.

_“I didn’t take it off you, the night I brought you home. Haven’t been looking in the shower or anything either. Not that it makes any fucking sense to me whatsoever, if you really want them gone so bad I could just-“_

“Yeah, not trusting my nipple placement in the hands of a demon, please and thank you.”

Dave figures he has about one shot at overpowering this demon before it locks him fully out of his memories. He decides to take it. It’s complicated digging through your own head, looking for this alien force inside of it. Easier when the intruder is internally screaming at you to knock it the fuck off, though.

He keeps Karkat firmly out of his vocal cords, doesn’t let him touch his motor functions at all. This is his body and he’s going to chase this demon into the farthest corner of his mind that he can find, and then he’s going to turn the goddamn tables. Except it isn’t like that at all. It’s not like in the movies where Dave can just visualize himself in his brain and go demon hunting. He’s just sitting there, staring at his still-bruised hands, thinking real hard about what it’d be like if he could see Karkat’s memories.

 _“Told you that you’d suck at it.”_ The demon mocks, hanging on his vocal cords.

“Fuck.”

_“Try it again and I’ll-“_

Dave tries it again, a different way. Less shoveling this time, more just… trying to remember. Thinking about hell. About this demon, Karkat. About Jade. About how, oh, shit, the terrible things they did to Karkat in hell. It’s hot, too fucking hot, he doesn’t even have a body and he knows it’s hot. No, it’s not the temperature. It’s the irons around his wrists, held above his head, it’s-

_“Stay the FUCK out of my memories, human.”_

And then the migraine is back consuming his consciousness.

“No, fuck, don’t make me-“

Dave Strider’s world goes black.

 

It is way too bright for Dave the next morning. And he’s in bed. And his binder is still on. He… does not remember falling asleep in his bed.

 _“Astute observations. We should sign you the fuck up for college- oh, that’s right, you never even graduated high school, did you?”_ Karkat’s voice straight from Dave’s mouth. So that wasn’t a dream, then.

“How d’you even know what schools are? Don’t tell me there’s gym class in hell.” Dave snaps.

 _“Okay, I concede that, maybe, you have some reason to be snippy with me this morning. I went on this whole spiel assuring you I wouldn’t take control of your pathetic human body, and then I went ahead and did it anyway.”_ Karkat begins, sounding real apology-adjacent.

“Your body that you don’t have permission to be in.” Dave reminds him.

 _“If you remember, I did it to keep you out of MY memories. Ones which I explicitly forbid you from.”_ Karkat argues.

“Dude you’ve had your claws all over my memories.” Do demons have claws?

_“Yes, we have claws, jackass.”_

“Goddamn- see, this is exactly the shit I’m talking about man. I get it, we’re all sorts of unhappily stuck together. A demon and a human in some hellish Chinese finger trap. But you can’t fuckin’ just read my thoughts all the time.” Lay down some ground rules, Dave.

_“Then don’t think so loudly.”_

“Right my bad dude, didn’t mean to intrude on your quiet time by being too loud in my own head and shit.” Dave rolls his eyes.

 _“At least you get the controls on this flesh pile. The fuck am I supposed to do to entertain myself? Keep watching you jerk off to your own horrific artwork?”_ The demon complains.

“My bad I forgot to install Netflix directly in my brain before you possessed me. Really this is all my fault.” Is this demon seriously whining about the restrictions of his possession?

 _“Stop calling me ‘the demon’ in your head! K-A-R-K-A-T. Told you my name last night. And, yes, actually, I am fucking upset about the specific restraints you’re forcing on me.”_ The de- Karkat tells him.

“Maybe you should have thought about that shit before entering my unwilling goddamn body.”

_“Maybe you should go fuck yourself.”_

“Someone’s kinky.” Karkat doesn’t need to use Dave’s vocal cords for him to hear all the screaming Karkat’s doing inside his head. “Anyway, I’ve got something real fun cooked up for us today. We’re going back to Jade’s house. I need to figure out where the fuck she is and I know you made me miss all sorts of shit last time I was there.”

 _“You’re going to call your sister, aren’t you?”_ Karkat sounds like he thinks it’s a bad idea. Dave half agrees with him, honestly, but he figures making up for yesterday is better than holing up for the rest of his natural life.

“We’ve got to prove to her that I’m not possessed.” Dave explains.

_“Newsflash: You are possessed.”_

“She can’t go around thinking that though. So you stay real the fuck quiet, no matter how much she pisses you off today. Unless you want her to gank the both of us.” Dave warns. Karkat doesn’t respond out loud, just does a lot of angry cursing in his head.

He calls Rose, and an hour later they’re standing outside of Jade’s apartment with Karkat on strict orders not to get the both of them killed. Dave has half-convinced himself that he is completely mad. Any normal goddamn human would be all about telling their sister- who loves the hell out of them and totally probably would never kill them- about their small possession issue, would want help getting the demon out of their brain in a fun family-safe manner.

Not Dave Strider. Dave Strider has, instead, opted for trusting the asshole creature squatting in his body. Just straight up believed that he’s being honest when he says the exorcism will kill Dave, that he isn’t on Earth to murder, he’s just trying to get home. That’s some straight up masochistic shit, Dave.

 _Probably,_ Karkat comments inside Dave’s head, _but for once your bullshit pseudo suicidal tendencies are keeping you alive._

“Shut up.” Dave instructs, more out loud than he was intending.

“Did you say something?” Rose raises an eyebrow from her car.

Dave sends her an unenthusiastic wave from his perch on Jade’s stoop, “Just asking how Bec is doing. Is he chasing the cats or anything?”

She hugs him a little too tight. “No, they get along surprisingly well.”

“Maybe Jade’ll let you keep him when we find her.” Dave jokes.

“I said the cats like him, not me.” Rose smirks.

There’s an uncomfortable pause as she unlocks the door.

 _Stop thinking about how big your sister’s ass is and apologize to her, what the fuck is wrong with you?_ Karkat thinks at him.

“Hey uh, Rose? About yesterday…”

“It’s fine, Dave. I know how Dirk- I know what he does to you. Particularly when alcohol comes into the mix.” She doesn’t look at him when she says it, just keeps walking into the apartment, so he can’t tell if she really means it or not.

“Still shouldn’t say shit like that to you, yo. You’re kind of like my only, you know. Sister. Friend. Whatever.” He’s always been good at sentimental shit.

Rose doesn’t say anything, just turns around and reaches out for his hand.

Three years ago, when she and Roxy had shown up at Dirk’s cabin followed by a squad of special ops officers, she’d been the one to find him. He was crouched in a corner drenched in blood, staring down the body of his brother. What pieces were left of him, at least. When she does shit like this, gives him this look, he can still feel it, smell it, the flesh on his skin, the copper in the air, the sulfur from all the fucking demons they had to take down fogging up his lungs.

 _Do you want me to make it stop?_ _The flashbacks?_ Karkat asks.

“Please.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

“Please what, Dave?” Her eyes look so goddamn heartbroken, big and purple. Sometimes he misses the days before she knew what hell he’d been dragged through.

“Just don’t make me think about him right now.” He replies, a little bit to her, mostly to Karkat.

“Right. Well, if we’re doing apologies, I should let you know that I actually am sorry for accusing you of being possessed. I shouldn’t have let Mom get to me like that. I know you better, and I know how Jade’s disappearance is, well. Causing some negative behaviors. Should I be worried about the drinking, though?” Rose asks, hand still firmly planted on his own.

“Can I let you know in like three weeks?” Dave jokes. She rolls her eyes, finally lets go of him.

_Thank fuck, her hands are goddamn freezing._

Sharing a body with a demon sure is fun.

_Shut up._

Dave knows exactly what he’s looking for in Jade’s apartment: those books he saw last time he was here before the blinding migraine known as Karkat overrode his consciousness. He stalls, though, spends time rooting through her trash cans, couch cushions, another attempt at her laptop. It’s not that he’s having a fun time being here or anything, he just doesn’t think telling Rose ‘Oh I’ve suddenly miraculously found the answer to all of our problems now that the demon possessing me has agreed to help’ is the right way to go about this.

Finally, while she’s ten pages deep in Jade’s email archives, Dave heads into Jade’s bedroom.

 _You should go back to the computer._ Karkat says.

“Uh, dude, you obviously stopped me from seeing this shit last time we were here. You think I’m a complete moron?” Dave whispers his response.

From the other room Rose calls: “Dave, you talking to me? I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

“Shit. Nah, just talking myself through the last time I remember talking to Jade, seeing if it jogs my memory!” He calls into the other room.

“You do like talking to yourself…” He hears her sigh.

 _“I might not think you’re a moron, but I certainly think she’s one.”_ Karkat comments.

“Dude would you rather her actually catch us?” Dave retorts.

Karkat shuts right the fuck up, until Dave goes for the drawers filled with Jade’s notebooks. Karkat must be getting better at convincing Dave’s body to obey him without completely taking control because Dave is overcome with the urge to look just about anywhere else. He’s halfway to slamming the drawer shut before he realizes what’s going on.

“Yo Karkat fuck you dude.”

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

“Bullshit, I know you don’t want me looking in this- augh, fuck, you have me literally walking away jesus fuck.” Dave turns his ass around, goes for the notes again.

 _“Dave stop.”_ Karkat sounds a little more desperate.

“No jackass, you stop. We both know you know where Jade is, or at least how to find her, so cut this shit out.” Dave has spent a whole lot of time over the past two days not getting pissed at the demon possessing him, but his patience is wearing pretty goddamn thin.

 _“Dude, you don’t want to do this. Just fucking listen to me Dave, you don’t WANT this.”_ He sounds honest, but he’s a demon.

“I’ll fucking tell Rose right now if you don’t let me take this book.” Very suddenly, Dave’s hand is grabbing for Jade’s notes and stuffing them hastily into his backpack. “Threats? That’s all that works on you? Figures. Demon, right?” Dave can’t help but laugh- this isn’t his fucking partner in crime, it’s a goddamn hell beast.

Except that thinking that so loudly has him hurting somewhere that feels a lot like Karkat’s gut.

 _“I’m not going to tear you apart to keep you from this. If you want to figure out the big mystery, be my guest.”_ Karkat’s voice sounds different. Bitter.

“We could just get this shit over with and you could tell me. End the goddamn suffering. Move onto Dave and Karkat’s next big adventure: getting you the hell out of my body without us both ending up dead.” Dave finds himself laughing again. Apparently the demon thinks he’s half as hilarious as he does.

 _“Listen dipshit, I wish I could. I’m piss tired of hearing your internal monologue about your missing fucking girlfriend. But, get this: I can’t. I can’t just tell you. I straight up promised you I wouldn’t, asshole.”_ He’s getting loud- probably too loud, considering Rose is only a wall away.

“What, a blood oath? Did I get myself twisted up in a blood oath with a demon? Jesus shit, past Dave.”

 _“What? No. I’m not some evil- I mean, I am, I’m fucking evil and terrible and I’ve tasted the flesh of humans better than you- but I, fuck, it wasn’t a blood oath I’m just not prepared to betray your fucking trust.”_ Oh.

“Dude. Gay.”

_“Can we get the fuck out of here? Your sister gives me the creeps.”_

“Yeah, man.”

 

 _“You’ve been doing this for hours. Her writing makes literally no sense, Dave. I KNOW what’s going on with her and this makes no fucking sense. Congratulations, all of your friends are officially completely insane.”_ Now that Karkat is home alone and getting comfortable, he has no problem using Dave’s voice to get a little more shout-y. Dave isn’t used to hearing his voice quite so loud.

He also can’t really disagree with Karkat on this one. Jade writes in what seems like sixteen different languages, and half her notes are ridiculous pictograms that look honestly like complete shit.

“Can’t just fucking give up on her, alright?” Dave says, for about the fifteenth time.

_“Can’t you give it a break at least? Or, I don’t know, actually listen to me when I sincerely fucking tell you that you don’t want to dig any deeper? This is coming straight from the words of past Dave, douchebag.”_

“Man why you gotta side with past Dave all the time?” He’s half joking, not really expecting a sincere response.

 _“Because past Dave was a hell of a lot closer to killing me than you’ve ever been.”_ Karkat admits.

“Oh. Shit. That should probably make me nervous, huh?” He wonders if it should, really, if the whole possession thing hasn’t even fucked with him.

_“Different circumstances. We came to an agreement.”_

“That I only get to learn about if I use my super sleuthing skills yeah, yeah, I got it.”

_“Stop moping.”_

“You know dude, for someone who creeped through all my memories you’re having a hard time understanding why this is fucking with me so hard.” Dave says. His brain directs Karkat straight to bro.

_“He’s the exact reason I don’t think you want in on this.”_

“Then I don’t know who the fuck’s memories you’re searching through.”

_“I’m sorry, you want more of that in your world? More demons? Dave, walk away.”_

“See, for a long time dude I probably would have agreed with you. What was my problem with bro? Too many demons. Too much blood. Too much straight up abuse, right? I mean, okay, yeah, true. But that wasn’t the problem, not when I was a kid. It was just like, yeah he told me about demons. Yeah he taught me how to fight and read spells and shit but I didn’t know half the shit he was into. I didn’t know about Lil’ Cal, or all his deals, or the hellhounds, or everything he was hiding in the cabin man- he just had all these fucking secrets dude. They were everywhere, all over my house, and I wasn’t allowed to know about fucking any of it, and then it blew the fuck up in my face. Literally. And now Jade- I just, I know I know dude. And I can’t just let her fuck up her life like he did, okay? I can’t be responsible for that shit again.” Probably Dave shouldn’t have just spilled his guts like that. Probably Karkat would’ve picked it out of his brain if he hadn’t, anyway.

 _“Holy shit, you think you’re responsible for the way your bro died. Dave, he’s like, fucking infamous in hell, you know that, right? I couldn’t have handled the fucked up forces he was messing with. There’s nothing- Dave, he made his own choices.”_ Great, he’s so pathetic he’s got a demon pitying him.

“I’m not going to let that happen to Jade.”

 _“Fuck- fine. Fine, I get it. You’re not letting it go. I probably wouldn’t either, in your situation. I’m not going back on my word though. But if you insist on going through with trying to find her, I’ll be here to pick up the pieces of this fucked up brain we’re sharing.”_ He sounds remorseful, sounds like he means it.

“We can do something else tonight if you want, dude. Just tonight. ‘m exhausted, anyway.” Dave makes a peace offering.

 _“The hell do you guys do for fun around here anyway?”_ Karkat asks.

Damn good question.

“I dunno, man. Haven’t been so much about the fun in awhile. Mostly I just surf the internet.” Dave admits.

_“I’ve noticed.”_

“I kinda want to hear about hell, bro.” He doubts Karkat will give in, but it’s worth a shot.

_“What do you want to know.”_

“I dunno dude. Why you’re here?”

 _“Someone I… care about was going to get herself killed coming to Earth. Couldn’t let her do that. Did it for her.”_ Karkat sounds miserable about it.

“Aw so you’re like so in love with her bro?” He says it in the most mocking tone he can muster.

 _“Just like you’re in love with Jade?”_ Karkat spits right back.

“Alright alright point taken, no more talking about the ladies.” Dave has fucked up with Jade one too many times to feel comfortable going down that road.

 _“It’s different, though, when I’m not corporeal like this. I was loyal as hell to her, but I didn’t have all these god damn human endorphins making me feel- eugh. I don’t know how the hell your species survives like this all the time.”_ Karkat complains.

“So what’s her name.”

_“Terezi.”_

“Weird.”

 _“Whatever. Need to put it behind me, now that I’ve gone and perma-killed her girlfriend.”_ Karkat laments.

“Shit, that’s what you came here to do for her?”

_“Genuinely wish I was lying.”_

“Okay wait, did you say perma-kill? Are you also telling me it’s possible to straight up gank a demon? Not just send them back to hell, actually murder them? That shit could come in real fucking handy.” Dave asks.

_“Let’s focus on one demon mystery at a time.”_

“Dude, seriously? You helped me with those seals at my school the other day, you honestly trying to tell me you don’t care about humans a little bit?” Dave smirks.

 _“Excuse me for not wanting to give you more tools for digging yourself into trouble while I’m literally stuck inside you. How about this: we figure out how to get me the hell out of you, I tell you how to kill demons and keep them dead.”_ Karkat offers.

“Solid deal, bro. I appreciate that shit so much I won’t even use the perma-kill on you, yeah?”

 _“My hero.”_ Karkat’s voice is thick with sarcasm.

It hits Dave harder than it should. ‘Hero’. It’s stupid, the way that word still eats at him. He can still hear it echoing off bro’s lips- “You’ve got to be a hero little man”, “Why didn’t you protect her Dave? You’re supposed to be a hero”, “A hero wouldn’t be crying about this, it’s just a little blood”. Dave was never a hero, not to bro, not like bro. Dave only ever wanted _out_ and it showed in every mistake, every fuck-up, every scar bro left riddled across his abdomen, every body he left behind when he couldn’t rescue the damsel fast enough.

 _“You know he could have saved them too, right?”_ Karkat comments, once a-fucking-gain intruding on his private thoughts.

“Who? Those girls I got killed?” Dave asks.

 _“I’m not exactly an expert on morality, but I was under the impression that a hero wouldn’t use a human life to test a child’s ability to track and kill demons. It was fucked up that your brother used live human girls to see how good you were at killing demons.”_ Karkat says, voice low.

“They weren’t tests, man. It’s not like he set the demons on them.”

_“He could have stepped in, Dave. I’m in your head, I know you know that.”_

“Then you also fucking know that I knew he wouldn’t step in. I’m not defending his messed up actions. It was fucked, Karkat, I get that, but it was my responsibility to save those people and I couldn’t do it.” As Dave says it, he feels this wave of anger surge inside him. “Shit, man, is that from you?”

 _“He makes me fucking sick.”_ Karkat admits.

“Aren’t you like, supposed to be a demon?” Dave does his best to stifle a laugh- seriously, he’s seen demons in his time. He has had some first hand experience with the malicious violence the creatures get off on. It’s completely ridiculous that a shitty older brother has Karkat’s knickers in a twist.

 _“You know what, fuck you. You’ve got a goddamn skewed version of hell, Dave Strider. Fun fact: most of us are too busy with our own lives to give two shits about humanity. You want to know why you’ve seen so many evil pieces of shit in your life? Because Dirk dragged you to them, brought them into your house. I’ve seen demons trying to get revenge, too, Dave. Hell isn’t pretty. But your bro? He gives the worst of them a run for their money with the torture he put you through.”_ When Karkat’s done, Dave finds his hands shaking. He’s having trouble discerning whether it’s his or Karkat’s doing.

“Seems like you’re getting awfully riled up about your vessel’s psychological safety, bro.” Dave jokes.

_“I can’t believe you seriously wonder why Rose is constantly worried about you.”_

Dave feels something different, then, something lighter, something embarrassing.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

_“Fine.”_

_“I’m hungry. No, scratch that, it’s your stomach. You’re fucking hungry.”_ Karkat groans.

Dave figures Karkat is right enough. They- he- whatever- haven’t eaten since before work this morning. He’d usually just steal a tray from whatever mess the high school cafeteria was serving, but Karkat was having none of that shit. For someone who’s never been corporeal before, dude sure has a delicate palate.

“Oh, sure, I’ll swing by Wendy’s on our drive home.” Dave tells him.

 _“As much as I would love to partake in another one of those frozen chocolate drinks, I think we can both feel how completely devoid of nutrients this body is.”_ Karkat tells him. It’s getting easier to share his voice box, the longer Karkat is inside of him. Has him going on a lot more internal monologues, though.

“Hey woah hold the phone, I’m feeling great.” Dave argues, still en route to Wendy’s.

 _“I don’t think I’ve seen you eat a vegetable since I’ve been inside of you. That’s weeks, Dave. Weeks without vital nutrition.”_ Karkat argues.

“First of all, there’s always lettuce and tomatoes on fast food burgers. Second of all, you know I take that Flintstones vitamin every morning. What more do I need?” Dave shoots back. He takes a second to glance down at his hands on the steering wheel. They’re still a little black and blue from his attempted exorcism of Karkat. He’s been doing his best to keep his arms covered up. He finds that avoiding thinking about his almost-death is the best course of action.

_“I am trying to avoid us having a heart attack. I want dinner, Dave. One of those classic human home cooked meals I keep seeing on TV.”_

Dave sighs, checks his review mirror, and makes a real abrupt U-turn.

“Alright, brain demon, here we go. Gonna show you around the grocery store.”

_“You’re going to make me regret this, aren’t you?”_

Dave really was planning on making Karkat regret it. God damn demon out-maneuvered him, though.

 _“I don’t get why you’re mad at me, Dave.”_ Karkat says for the fourteenth time.

“Bro I fucking warned you we couldn’t just sample food in front of the security guard.” Dave responds.

 _“Are you seriously telling me that I’m supposed to use my hard earned cash to buy food I don’t even know if I like? Bullshit.”_ Karkat whines.

“Your hard earned cash? Pretty sure I’m the one with a job.” Dave counters.

 _“I wanted to taste the pasta, Dave.”_ Karkat persists.

“Oh yeah that nice crunchy pasta, all uncooked and delicious. Felt great on my teeth.” He picks at one of his molars- it still hurts.

_“Yeah, okay, that was my fault.”_

There’s silence for a few minutes. Dave scolds himself for letting his guard down enough to let Karkat take control of his arms. Yeah, it was just to eat some shitty uncooked pasta, but it’s probably fucked up that he feels comfortable enough with a demon in his body to relax that much at all, ever, even for one goddamn second.

A sinking feeling in his stomach alerts him that, damn it, he was thinking real loud. Karkat overheard, and now he’s feeling like shit. The guilt picks at him.

“Hey, there’s actually a better grocery store across town. One we haven’t been permanently banned for on account of the weirdest theft anyone’s every seen.” Dave suggests.

 _“We both know you just want Wendy’s.”_ Karkat sounds like he’s moping. It’s almost comical, the downtrodden tone coming from a demon. Or it would be if Dave didn’t feel like such shit about causing it.

“Nah, it’s cool. I’ll get you some fancy pasta there, too. Cook it up Gordon Ramsey style. Shit, maybe we’ll get wild and bake something.” Dave is hyper aware of how fake his voice sounds when he’s trying to apologize.

 _“Stop trying to make me feel better. You don’t trust me. You shouldn’t trust me. I get it.”_ Karkat tells him.

“It’s just dinner, Karkat. Your body host is gonna treat you tonight, alright?” Dave reassures him. Because, yeah, that’s what he should be doing. Reassuring the demon that’s possessing him that he trusts it.

 _“If you insist on cooking for me I’m going to have to demand you look up a recipe online. You’ve got all your memories on display for me, and it is clear as goddamn day that you don’t know shitfuck about cooking.”_ Karkat is smiling through Dave’s mouth.

“Recipe? Want me to buy you a dozen roses too? Light some candles? Wine and dine the shit out of you?” Dave jokes.

 _“Hm, Dave Strider having a date by himself drinking alone in his apartment. Tell me how that’s different from usual?”_ The jest stings a little.

“Pft, like I can’t feel how honored you are to be going on a date as someone as hot as me.”

_“You’re taking the date charade really far.”_

“I would never joke about the cold hard reality of a date.”

_“Humans are terrifying.”_

_“Dave, let’s play a game.”_ Karkat’s voice comes out of him high and raspy.

“It’s two thirty in the morning.” Dave responds.

 _“You don’t have work tomorrow.”_ Karkat argues.

“Okay, okay. I’ve got a good one for you. Truth or dare?” Dave begins.

_“What’s that?”_

“You pick one, jackass. Truth or dare?”

_“Dare.”_

“Word. I dare you to go the fuck to sleep.”

Karkat smacks him with his own hand, _“Shit, I didn’t mean to hit that hard.”_

“Welp, guess we’re awake now,” Dave begins, rubbing his head, “Want to eat ice cream and talk about our feelings?”

 _“I know you’re being sarcastic, but I really did enjoy that Ben and Jerry’s we bought.”_ Karkat agrees.

Dave walks through his dark apartment and rummages around in his freezer for the ice cream. Karkat goes to town on it once they’re sitting on the sofa, TV glowing on mute across the room.

“I wonder if you’d freak out if I got you high.” Dave thinks aloud.

Karkat encourages him to shovel a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth before answering, _“Demons always say the first few days of inhabiting a human’s body feel like ingesting soporiphics.”_

“Guess that makes sense. When y’all are full corporeal on your own, we’re you’re energy source, right? Being inside us must be like the fucking jackpot.” Dave comments.

 _“It’s overwhelming, honestly. At least the first time around.”_ Karkat explains. Dave is barely cognizant of his next question before Karkat gets around to answering it, _“Yeah, this is my first time. Like I fucking said, I’m not the most popular guy in Hell. It’d be asinine for me to run around getting mixed up with the barrier between our world and your world all the time.”_

“What was all that shit I saw in your memories, man?” Dave hopes it doesn’t piss the guy off to ask about it.

 _“We both know that you know that I was being tortured. The girl I came here for, Terezi. She’s the one who got me out of it.”_ There’s a big pause. They loosen their grip around the pint of ice cream- it’s starting to melt.

“Did you come here because you owe her?” Dave asks.

_“No.”_

There’s a bubble of jealousy in his gut, about this relationship that Karkat has that he’ll never understand with this demon girl that he’ll never know. He calms that bubble the fuck down by reminding himself how stupid it is to care about a demon’s friendships in the first place.

_“You’re right. It is stupid. I’m living in your body sharing all of your thoughts, and you’re jealous over someone I will probably never see again.”_

“You really want to go back, don’t you?”

There’s another pause. Dave tries his hardest to poke around in his brain for Karkat’s answer, but all he feels in uncertainty. Finally, Karkat answers:

_“No.”_

“I’m just too cozy a house?”

 _“Fuck that, if I could get out of you without damning myself and killing you, I would. Hell isn’t exactly fun for me, though. I’d rather give it a go as a corporeal demon for awhile. With my own body.”_ He explains.

Dave sucks in a sharp breath, “Doesn’t that all come with the need to kill people for food?”

Karkat’s laughter booms out of Dave’s chest, loud enough to get the upstairs neighbors pounding on the floor to shut him up.

 _“You have no idea how demons feed, do you?”_ Karkat asks.

“Bro explained it to me real clear. Soul energy. Which y’all get from murdering people.” Dave tells him.

 _“Soul energy? That’s the most poetic bullshit I’ve ever heard, but I guess it’s a good enough approximation to what corporeal demons feed off. Let me assure you, killing isn’t the only way to get it. It’s the least efficient way, really, too fucking messy. Most of us would prefer blood or, uh…”_ He trails off, but Dave can hear the echo of the rest of the sentence in his head. _Or sex._

“That’s some kinky vampire shit, yo.” Dave concludes.

_“I should have just let you sleep.”_

_“Dave.”_

Something about being woken up by a demon commandeering his voice is not sitting well with Dave.

_“Dave, get up.”_

Or maybe the thing that’s fucked up about this situation is that Karkat kept him up until two in the morning and, judging by the darkness of the room, isn’t letting him get more than three hours of sleep.

_“Dave your PHONE.”_

Only then does he notice the stupid robot ringtone humming from under his pillow. He answers it without checking to see who it is, blindly hoping that it’s Jade.

“Dave, I need you to come over.” That ain’t Jade’s voice. It’s Rose. Scared as shit Rose.

“Sis, you know what time it is?” Dave works at wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Please, this is urgent. I seem to have miscalculated something and-“ There’s a loud crash on the opposite end of the line, “-just get here. Now.”

She hangs up.

“Five bucks says it’s a demon.”

_“I’m not taking you up on a bet when we both know you’re right.”_

The drive to Rose’s is hell, all early-morning traffic and honking and narrowly avoiding double parked cabs. Dave turns off his car in front of a hydrant and does his best not to think about how expensive a ticket will be if a meter maid rolls through. It’s hard to focus on anything but the smell of sulfur once he steps outside, anyway. Yup, definitely some demon shit.

 _“You aren’t moving. You’re scared.”_ Karkat says aloud, as if Dave were not already very fucking aware of the situation.

“I hate this shit.”

He figures he can use ‘hate’ to replace ‘am fucking traumatized by’ without Karkat mentioning it.

The interior of Rose’s normally-messy apartment is utterly destroyed. Claw marks, furniture stuffing torn out and spread all over the floor, blood. Shit, blood.

Dave reacts instinctively, ducks down low and presses his back against a wall.

_“It’s a small one. And it’s not in here anymore. It’s… fuck, does she have an upstairs? I think it’s upstairs.”_

“You can… sense it?” Dave whispers.

 _“Lucky for you, yes. How the fuck do you think I noticed the one at your job last week?”_ Karkat explains.

“Great. Well, let me use my magic fucking Rose detection powers to see where the hell she’s hiding herself in her death apartment.” Dave doesn’t have any. He just texts her. She does not text back.

_“I can help you kill it without her.”_

“I can kill it alone. Corporeal demons are easy.” Dave responds. All he’s got to do is stab it good or lop off its head or something. No incantation bullshit necessary.

_“That’ll just send it back to hell. I can help you kill it. Perma kill it.”_

“Dude, you’re just giving me the secret to kill you that easy?”

_“I’m fucking assuming you don’t plan on using it on me while I’m still inside of you.”_

“I don’t plan on using it on you at all.”

There’s no time for Dave to feel embarrassed about his touchy-feely moment with his brain-demon; there’s a crash upstairs.

 _“You start working on a devil’s trap. When we snare the thing in there, I’ll take over. When I’m done, stab it through the heart.”_ Karkat instructs.

“That easy?”

_“Well… there’s one part that’s going to be tricky.”_

“Oh fuck.”

_“We have to enter the devil’s trap so I can carve something into the fucker.”_

Dave’s stomach feels ill, “That’s disgusting. That… is also a huge goddamn problem for us. We’ll get trapped in there with you inside my body.”

 _“Right. Which is not an option. So we’ve got to break the seal before we get in there, without the demon noticing.”_ Karkat says.

“What if I just incapacitate the thing before you start your carving bullshit? Don’t gotta trap it at all.” Dave suggests.

_“What if you can’t? You haven’t fought a demon in a long time, Dave.”_

“So we have the devil’s trap to lure it into just in case. And then, uh, I guess we’re gonna have to get real sneaky and fuck up the circle without the demon noticing as we’re walking into it.” It’s a terrible plan and he knows it.

 _“…Let’s fucking hope you beating the hell out of it works.”_ Karkat says.

“Wait, dude, if you like took over or whatever, would you be stronger than me?” Dave asks.

_“You’d give me control?”_

“I have to anyway, for your little perma-kill stunt.”

 _“Fuck. I think it heard us. It’s coming this way, I feel it, shit, shit.”_ Karkat is nervous inside him, making his heart flutter.

“Dude, just take over. Kill this thing.”

Karkat does it.

Dave thought it’d feel worse to have a backseat view of his own body. Kind of just feels like depression, like those depersonalized days where he finds himself watching his own limbs carry out motions he doesn’t quite remember asking them to do. He still feels it in his muscles every time Karkat brings up his sword to swing at the demon bent on killing them. It still stings when the creatures bites his forearm. Really, honestly, this is just like every other battle Dave has ever had- dissociated as hell, watching the fight from behind a layer of fog and shades. Just, this time, he doesn’t even have to try to pay attention.

Karkat’s good. Not in the same way Dave is. He’s shit with his sword technique, clearly doesn’t have his footing down, but he’s strong and ruthless and better at predicting the demon’s movements than Dave could ever hope to be himself. They’ve got the little fuck pinned down and nearly unconscious in five minutes. Karkat’s little perma-kill ritual is what really freaks Dave out. He tries his best not to look through his own open eyes at the patterns Karkat is carving into the screaming demon below them, deep gashes that ooze black as a language that he doesn’t know pours out of his mouth.

It ends different than Dave thought it would, no final shout from the creature they’re killing or some magic burst of light marking its death. One minute the thing is struggling, gasping for air, and the next its lifeless eyes are staring up at the ceiling, sword firmly planted in its heart.

There’s a moment where Dave isn’t sure if Karkat’s going to give him back control; a moment where he wonders if he even wants it. But then they’re his hands again that he’s moving all on his own, sliding his sword out from this carcass and back into its sheath.

 _“Are you okay?”_ Karkat’s breath comes out ragged. Dave realizes that they’re both breathing hard, exhausted from the fight.

“As much as you are.” They are sharing a body, after all.

 _“I know there was a lot of blood.”_ Karkat says. Dave stifles a laugh. The demon is actually trying to see if he’s okay, like, psychologically.

“I’ve seen worse.” Dave reassures him.

_“That’s why I’m fucking asking, jacknugget.”_

“Let’s just find Rose.”

She’s half conscious in the upstairs bathroom, tending to a bite mark that sinks its way deep into her leg. That explains all the blood downstairs, then. She takes one look at the shallow bite on this forearm, then at the demon blood dripping from his sword, and gives him a curt nod. She knows he’s killed it.

“Dave, you’re going to have to stitch this for me. I don’t seem to have the- ah, fuck- the strength in me right now.” She lifts her skirt a bit more, reveals just how long the gash extends.

“Where’s your first aid kit, sis? You sure you shouldn’t go to the hospital?” Not that Dave hasn’t sewn up worse on himself before, but he’s kind of running short on friends, here. He doesn’t want to take any chances.

“So they can charge me a few thousand bucks and force rabies shots on me? No thank you.”

“Fair enough.”

He sets to work in silence, doing his best to help her through the pain of disinfection and a literal needle and string being threaded through her flesh. He tries to be careful, but he’s not as deft with his hands as she is. This is going to scar big and ugly.

“I do wish we had those dissolvable stitches. It’s going to hurt like a bitch when I have to take these out in a few weeks.” Rose complains, eyes screwed shut as Dave works the needle through the final few inches of the bite.

“Hey, consider yourself lucky you get stitches at all. I could’ve used staples.” He smiles.

“I’ll try to take solace in that.” She frowns.

An uncomfortable quiet looms over them as she hobbles herself into bed, taking deep breaths and a series of pills Dave can only assume are illegally obtained pain killers. He stands in the doorway the entire time, Karkat screaming in his head to interrogate her. ‘ _It didn’t just crawl in to a demon hunter’s heavily protected home on its own’_ He reasons. Dave is painfully aware of that. Dave is also painfully aware that Rose will just shoot evasive jargon at him till she’s good and ready to talk about what just went down.

“You sent it back to hell, I take it?” Her voice cuts through the silence.

“Uh, yeah.” He figures now isn’t the time for him to try to explain just how he learned the recipe for demon perma-kill.

“I can help you dispose of it tomorrow.” She offers.

“Nah, I got it.” He can’t really have her seeing all the marks Karkat carved into the thing, “Why didn’t you call Roxy?”

“She’s out of town. Bigger fish to fry.” Her fists are clenched. Her leg must be throbbing by now. He wishes there were more he could do.

“And I guess you’re running out of friends to call to pull you out of messes like this.” Dave sighs.

“We’re going to find Jade.” Rose speaks firmly, “Actually, that’s what I was working on tonight.”

“Holy shit, what did you do?” He’s probably not in a place to judge her, what with the possession and all.

“I’ve been… communicating with someone. From Hell.” Her face stays deadpan, like she hasn’t just said the most fucked up thing he’s ever heard out of her mouth.

“Did you try to summon it?” It’s a pointless question. She obviously tried to summon it. That’s why there was a goddamn fucking corporeal piece of shit in her house tonight.

“It seems I miscalculated. I inadvertently open a portal through which an already corporealized demon was able to enter my home.”

“ _Why the fuck would you summon a demon? Are you fucking insane?”_ Karkat barks at her. Luckily enough, its pretty much exactly what Dave was too stunned to blurt out so she doesn’t notice a difference between them. Same voice, after all.

“She said she might be able to assist me with location spells, if her soul were briefly in the mortal plane.” Rose purses her lips, defensive.

Dave is real glad that Karkat is on top of responding because he really, seriously does not have the capacity to do so, _“That is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. Aren’t you supposed to be the smart, sensible twin? We- I’m leaving. Get your shit together Rose. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, when I’m done cleaning up your goddamn mess.”_

Dave is almost positive Karkat is the one to take a step back and slams her bedroom door shut. He is definitely the one who, piece by piece, disassembles this demon with a turkey carving knife, stuffs it into a trash bag, and sends it to the bottom of the East River weighted down by a cinder block.

Dave’s hands are still shaking from the memory of it when they’re sitting, wrapped in a blanket, on the floor of his apartment later that night.

“Karkat?”

_“Yeah?”_

“It’s really fucked up that my sister tried to summon a demon.” He says.

 _“Oh, I am fucking aware. After all the shit you’ve been through? Your shitfuck brother, and John, and Jade- she’s so irresponsible. I’d kill her if it wouldn’t make things worse for you.”_ Karkat is seething, Dave can feel it.

“Can’t even be that pissed at her when I’m lying my ass off about being possessed by you. God, we’re a fucked up family.” He hangs his head in his hands.

 _“I can make you forget if you want. You shouldn’t have to remember me using your hands to cut a demon into tiny fucking bits.”_ Karkat says.

“That’s what you did with my memory about the night Jade went missing, isn’t it? Made me forget?” Dave laughs. It’s not funny, oh hell no it isn’t funny, but he’s dead out of the ability to do anything but make fun of the bullshit that is his life.

_“You asked me to.”_

“Prolly wouldn’t have done that if she was still alive, huh?”

Karkat doesn’t respond, which is as good as a ‘no’ as he’s ever heard.

Fuck.

There’s a hand grabbing his. Okay, it’s his own hand, but by Karkat’s doing.

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened to her?”

 _“I can take you to where she is.”_ The hand Karkat is controlling squeezes tighter around Dave’s fingers.

Dave has no idea what he wants. Figures.

_“You can sleep on it, if you want.”_

“I wish I’d just figured it out myself, man. Stumble onto that shit so I wouldn’t have a choice.” Dave says.

_“I promise, you don’t.”_

They fall asleep on the couch curled in on themselves, both pretending that they’re thinking of the TV and not Jade.

 

 _“Morning, sunshine.”_ Ah, the sweet sound of the demon possessing you to wake you up in the morning.

“You been up long?” Dave asks. Fun fact: Karkat does not like sleeping. He keeps Dave up until four most nights, watching TV or reading or talking about demon bullshit that Dave can only half keep track of, and then wakes up at the crack of dawn. Last night it was Rose’s bullshit keeping them up late, but whatever.

 _“You started dreaming about me again. Had to stay awake to make sure you kept your hand out of your fucking pants. By the way- that’s not what I look like. Think less Will Smith, more creature of the fucking night.”_ Karkat laughs.

Dave flushes- third night in a goddamn row he’s had a sex dream, jesus.

“Maybe if I didn’t have some creep voyeur in my head I could just get off and my subconscious would calm the fuck down. You try being on T and not jerking it for this long.” Dave defends.

 _“That is ostensibly my position, Dave, seeing as we’re sharing this hot mess of a body. But I swear to god if you force me to beat your bush with you I’ll make sure you end up good and dead by the end of this.”_ Karkat threatens.

“Bet you’d like it bro.”

_“I’m not having this argument again.”_

“Yeah it must suck having to admit your attraction for your ‘flesh prison’, right?”

Now Karkat’s the one feeling embarrassed. It’s been easier teasing their feelings apart, now that Dave’s had a chance to acclimate to sharing his body.

 _“Whatever, meat sack. What’s the schedule for today? What absolute mundane torture will you make me suffer through? Or have you decided on… uh… going to see Jade?”_ Karkat asks all tentative, like he’s hoping last night’s conversation never happened.

“Why don’t we make this a Karkat day, with a brief interlude for lunch with Rose? Gotta chew her out for summoning a demon yesterday. And, uh, Jade stuff later.” Dave offers, not wanting to think about all that quite yet.

He shoots off a text to Rose, tells her he’s going to cook for her around noon.

 _“So generous.”_ Karkat is getting way too good at his sarcasm game.

“Any breakfast requests?”

_“Bagel.”_

Dave pops one in the toaster and sits down at his single-person table. It’s littered with pages torn out of Jade’s books, and the own notes he’s taken on them. It’s obvious Jade was trying to figure out the specifics of some spell, but he can’t make sense of what the fuck it’s supposed to do.

 _“I thought you said we were worrying about her later?”_ Karkat asks.

“Guess I’m a masochist.”

Dave picks up Jade’s journal, flips through it lackadaisically. It’s stupid for him to try to figure this out on his own when Karkat has literally given in, straight up caved, and agreed to give him the answer. Just, you know. Maybe if he figures out The Big Mystery himself, he can still save her.

There’s a twinge in his gut, straight from Karkat.

_“Just because I’ve agreed to take you to her doesn’t mean that I think it’s a good idea.”_

“I asked to forget for a reason, right?” Dave says, half sarcastic, tracing his finger across a string of cursive Jade’s written in her journal fifteen times in a row.

 _“Can we just move on from this fucking book?”_ Karkat whines, and then freezes.

Book. Book. This is… a book. Holy shit, this is the title of a book. Fuck, how had Dave not realized this before? This is a book that bro has. He picks his ass up out of his chair and heads straight for bro’s room, starts rooting though the bookcases and boxes.

 _“Dave, stop it.”_ Karkat pulls at him.

“I’ve got it, don’t I? Whatever she’s trying to do is in here.” He’s not letting this go, not when he knows he’s so close.

 _“You’re not going to find it.”_ Karkat says. Dave looks anyway. It’s not in there, not anywhere, not under the bed or in one of the crevices bro burrowed into his walls. But Dave has _seen_ it before, he know he has. He’s been tracing those letters all week, not because Jade writes pretty, but because they’re so goddamn familiar.

When she called him that elusive day three weeks ago, they’d been arguing about a book…

“Karkat where the fuck is it?”

_“I can’t tell you.”_

“No, dude, fuck you, okay? I can feel how hard you care about me, you know that right? I know it’s probably just some bullshit about taking care of your vessel but you can’t just let me _not ever find her._ ”

_“Dave, I’m trying to protect you.”_

“Do you honestly think I can keep on living if I never try to save her?”

_“I told you I’d bring you to her, why isn’t that fucking good enough?”_

“I gotta remember, dude. I have to know what the fuck she did.”

He feels Karkat let go, just a little bit. Or no, that’s not quite right. Karkat’s pushing at him, shoving a memory towards his consciousness. And then he’s remembering:

_It’s three years ago, and bro’s body is on the floor, cold, lifeless, torn apart. Next to him is that goddamn puppet. It’s different than it used to be- there’s nothing behind those eyes anymore. Finally, fucking finally, it’s just a goddamn puppet. Only, there’s the thing that used to live inside him, half-formed and dying, sprawled out on top of Dirk._

_Its face is fucked, split in half, the green skull cracked wide open down the middle exposing this flesh and muscle that won’t stop spasming, trying to pull itself back together. It’s only got one leg, the other thigh stopping just short of the knee. Dave vividly remembers doing his best not to make eye contact with the bone, cracked wide open, boring its way through the demon’s flesh, marrow bright and pink inside it. Bits of the creature’s skin and muscle had failed to form, twisting in circles around its body, oozing blood. The ones on the abdomen left Dave struggling for breath, revealing organs that he never fucking goddamn wanted to see spilling out on to the floor, touching Dirk, Dirk’s body, god his brother’s torn up flesh all indistinguishable from the organs of the demon he’d gone and made half corporeal._

_“Dave.”_

Fuck, by the time Rose and Roxy had shown up, he’d puked all over himself, was just dry-heaving in the corner thinking about how if he had listened to bro, if he’d stayed in the circle like he’d been told, it’d be his body tangled up in this mess.

_“Dave.”_

He still dreams about it, what’d it have been like, his body ripping apart at the seams, tendons snapping in two, veins ripping open, his jaw pulling apart till the resistance was too much and it shattered right off his face-

_“DAVE. We are so fucking done thinking about that. Stop, Dave, stop, focus on the fucking BOOK.”_

Right, god, the book. Before the gore, before the haunting scream of bro being torn apart limb from limb, it was Dave in that circle. He didn’t get it at first, not till he felt the ache in his joints and saw the blood pooling in bro’s mouth, but he was being offered up as a goddamn flesh sacrifice to give the monstrosity inside bro’s puppet a brand new corporeal demon body. Jesus, how fucked was that? It’s not like Dave didn’t have Cal whispering his ear his whole damn life too, but he never would’ve fucked Dirk over like that. Shit, he could never even bring himself to spit on Dirk’s toothbrush. It’s not like he ever thought his bro actually loved him or anything, not after the way he brought Dave up. Didn’t mean it didn’t fuck Dave up to see the dude who raised him reading out of some Satan-spawn book, offering his soul and body up to the first demon to call dibs on it-

_“Yes, Dave, THAT book.”_

Dave can’t help but note that this is the closest Karkat has ever come to giving him half an answer about the predicament they seem to have landed themselves in. He’d have spent some time gloating about that victory if he hadn’t first realized what Karkat was getting at- the book Dirk was reading from when he tried to straight up kill Dave, the title Jade had jotted down in her notes-

“Holy shit, she stole it. She stole Dirk’s fucking book.” Dave doesn’t expect Karkat to respond.

_“No shit. Are we done with this now?”_

“Right, bro, suddenly I just no longer give a shit about-“

 _“God shut up I get it you like her you’ve got to find her. Suit your fucking self if you want to ruin your perfectly good mind remembering this shit. You’ve found the clue, you know she has the book, now where is she?”_ Karkat’s voice couldn’t be more sarcastic.

“You think I have a perfectly good mind? Shit, dude, I’m blushing.” Dave does his best to wink at the demon inside his brain.

_“Jump off a bridge.”_

“And miss out on spending all this time with you?”

_“Fuck, would you please focus on your stupid goddamn suicide plan?”_

Dave shuts the hell up. Karkat is right- he has to figure out where Jade is. It’s easy to piece together that that’s what they’d been arguing about, the day his memory got completely fucked by Karkat-

_“Can I inter-fucking-ject to remind you that past Dave didn’t want to remember?”_

“You said you’d take me there, Kat.” Dave reminds him.

_“You aren’t going to like it.”_

“Just tell me, okay? Let’s just have this be over with.”

Dave is pretty sure Karkat doesn’t have the guts to say it out loud. Instead, the demon seizes control of his hand and flips to a clean page of Jade’s notebook. Karkat’s handwriting is messy, all caps, aggressive:

DIRK’S CABIN

Dave doesn’t bother changing out of his pajamas before throwing himself in the car, Karkat’s low cursing oddly comforting in the back of his mind.

 

It takes three grueling hours of traffic and arguing with Karkat over how fast he can drive without being, according to Karkat, “completely suicidal” before Dave comes to a screeching halt on the dirt driveway outside Dirk’s abandoned cabin. He knows he should be a little more discreet in an attempt not to spook Jade or whatever hellspawn she may or may not have conjured into the living world, but he doesn’t have the restraint in him not to slam shut the door to his truck and pound up the wooden steps of the porch.

He’s breathing hard, loud, with his hand on the doorknob when Karkat takes control of his movements, freezes him in his goddamn tracks.

 _“Dave. I’m not going to stop you, okay? But please, fuck, please don’t do this Dave. Just don’t open that goddamn door, you don’t want this. It’s going to fucking break you.”_ Karkat tells him, one last time. Dave can feel in his chest that Karkat has already given up, though. He knows damn well what Dave is going to do.

Kind of like Dave knows what he’s going to find. Karkat hasn’t been begging him not to come here for weeks just to stop him from witnessing Jade and John bro hugging it out all happy and alive. No amount of knowing that the scene inside this cabin is going to be depressing at best stops him from turning the handle and opening the door once Karkat lets go of his motor control.

The smell of death oozes out as the door cracks open, a wave of hot sticky air that reeks of eggs, of sulfur. Dave stops of his own volition, turns, takes a deep breath, and opens the door a hair more. The stench of rotting flesh makes his body feel heavier. It’s not the sort of smell he can get used to, not like a particularly rank bag of trash he can just ignore until garbage day. The scent of decomposition permeates his skin, his nose, his taste buds. He pukes on the spot, gagging bringing him down to his knees before he realizes he even feels sick. His right hand is on his face through the whole thing- Karkat’s doing- stroking his cheek, his jawline, his hair.

“I’m fine, Karkat.” Dave tells him, seizing back control of his hand to wipe stomach acid off his lips.

Karkat, in some last ditch attempt to stop this whole investigation, uses Dave’s own hand again to grab him by the opposite wrist, _“Please, Dave.”_

Dave ignores him as he brings himself back to standing, and kicks the door fully open. He’s so horrified by the scene inside that he doesn’t have the guts to vomit again. He can’t tell if the shaking in his hands is him or Karkat, but has a sneaking suspicion that the regret he’s feeling about deciding to find Jade is coming from the both of them.

“You killed her.” He says to Karkat. Because Karkat must’ve.

Dave wishes she were beautiful, laying there dead in the middle of the floor, perfectly centered inside a blood circle. She’s not, though. He imagines when it first happened the knife wound that slides neatly through two ribs directly into her heart had spilled out pools of red liquid that ribboned around her still-warm body. It’s filled with maggots, now, gaping open to reveal bone. There’s something so fucking familiar about that wound, different than the rest of the shit her body has been through, that has him fixated on it, unable to tear his eyes away from it to look at the rest of her.

“Maybe you just can’t handle decapitation.” He tells himself, aloud. Because yeah, god, her head ain’t on anymore. Her hair almost covers it up, all caked in dark dried blood, but there’s vertebrae sticking out from her neck where it should be connected to her back. That prolly would have been less visible before the maggots started feasting. Fuck, god, is there even any skin left on her? He swears if it weren’t for the hair he wouldn’t have recognized her. She’s mostly just this lump of decomposing goo all covered up in a swarm of flies.

But that hair, that gorgeous fucking braid-work, that’s all Jade. He’d been there the day she got this done, right before John’s funeral. She’d insisted she had to look nice for the event, spent seven hours in a goddamn chair getting her scalp yanked and pulled while Dave sat there cracking jokes pretending not to be bored out of his mind. He bought them both snacks, and then drinks when it was all over “to take the edge off the pain” he’d told her, sort of talking about the braids, sort of talking about John.

Yeah, that’s her hair all fucked up on the floor, attached to a cold rotting head that looks nothing like her ‘cept for the cheek bones. Dead Jade. Dead Jade in the center of a demon-summoning circle. Dead Jade that Karkat just led him to.

He says it again, like he forgot about the first time, “You killed her.”

 _“Thanks for having so much faith in me but, no, actually, I didn’t.”_ Karkat’s coopting Dave’s voice in this real sincere way. Makes Dave want to believe him, almost. Only thing that’s holding him back is this corpse on the floor that used to be his friend.

“You tryna fucking tell me that she just up and killed herself?” Dave snaps.

_“Funny you should mention-“_

“Funny? Nah, nope, how about you lay the fuck off my voice and not poke jokes at my-“

_“Holy shit, you almost said girlfriend, didn’t you? We both know that’s not-“_

“Bro shut UP.”

 _“As_ fun _as this conversation is, I’m not particularly interested in hearing your mouth trap shoot off more accusations in my direction.“_

“Accusations? Ain’t like the shit I’m thinking is false, _demon._ You fuckin’ killed her.” This time when Dave says it, it sounds a hell of a lot more like the truth than all this shit Karkat’s been blabbing to him for weeks.

_“More like the truth? Bullshit, Strider, it’s just easier thinking I’m the one-“_

“Yo I thought I told you to shut the fuck up. Unless you wanna start telling me what actually went down. You won’t though, will you? Fuck, fuck, give me my memories back asshole, fucking show me what you did to her.” Something about crouching down so close to his dead friend’s rotting corpse makes it easier to fight against Karkat, to have the demon running into the darkest corners of his mind.

“Give me my fucking memories, demon.”

_“Dave, I didn’t-“_

“Shut UP.”

Dave ignores the maggots and grasps at Jade’s hair, her perfect fucking hair all splayed out and innocent. A human didn’t do this to her. There’s no damn way a human tore her apart like this, and there’s no way a demon fled the scene without consuming her flesh unless it found a better ride out of here-

“Tell me, Karkat, fucking tell me what you did man,” Dave commands.

_“No. I told you I’d bring you here, so I brought you here. I promised past fucking Dave that he wouldn’t have to remember what made this happen.” Karkat responds, gesturing towards the body on the floor._

Fuck Karkat.

Dave starts pulling at him, at this thing in his head that he knows is Karkat, yanking at its core, digging, tearing through him for memories.

He finds them all at once.

_Karkat, somewhere dark and warm, hot, boiling, cursing at his reflection, small and grey. Karkat looking at the blood on his hands- Karkat’s real, demon hands- crying, covering up ribbons of blood in cloth. Karkat staring straight at the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, except she’s not a girl, she’s a demon with bright red eyes and pointed horns, and she’s looking at Karkat like she loves him dearly but can’t stand to talk to him anymore. Karkat hiding in a space so small the memory of it has his back hurting, watching the shadows of some poor demon saps getting their souls torn apart. Karkat running, chest tight, so afraid, so goddamn afraid of the thing that’s chasing him. Karkat chained up by his wrists, blood dripping down his arms, irons hotter than hell. “You’ll die just like him” someone tells Karkat in the memory. “You’re just as useless.”_

Fuck, god, it’s coming so fast, too fast to keep track of, but none of this is what Dave needs. He pulls harder for it, sinks deeper into Karkat’s psyche, looking for any trace of himself in there.

Everything slows down _. He sees that girl again, that beautiful red-eyed demon, eyebrows furrowed as she looks down at Karkat._

_“Vriska’s gone through this gaping fucking hole between our dimensions. She’s trying to take over, Karkat, she’s going to completely fuck up the balance.” The girl tells Karkat, fists clenched. Karkat doesn’t respond, and she continues, “I’ve got to find her and drag her back.”_

_“There is no coming back.” Karkat says, “You have to stay here. I’ll go for you.”_

_“I should be the one to kill her.” The girl tells him, swallowing hard._

_“Terezi, you’re not going the fuck after her. You are aware that you’re actually kind of important around here, right? I’m doing this for you. If you leave, I’m dead here anyway. Let me do this for you.” Karkat’s voice is shrill, a hell of a lot like Dave imagined it would be._

_“Karkat-“_

And then the memory is gone. Dave is back in the present, staring down his own hands in Jade’s hair. Except, hell, he can’t move them. Fuck, holy fuck, he can’t do anything. He’s lost control, he’s goddamn lost control to Karkat.

 _“You’re fucking right you have you human swine. Just a little reminder that you’ve been in control this entire time because I_ let _you be. You do not get a free pass to look into my deepest darkest secrets, and you will never, ever, in a million goddamn years lay eyes on my last moment with her.”_ Karkat spits.

It takes work for Dave to gain back control of his vocal cords, cracking away at Karkat’s hold on them, “The fuck was that dude?”

 _“You really asking about my life here Dave? Last I heard, you were all worked up about your precious Jade.”_ Dave swears there’s a hint of jealousy behind Karkat’s snarl.

“You gonna just take over my body now? That’s it, I dug too deep?” Dave says. He wishes he had it in him to fight more, to take back his arms, to push Karkat out altogether, but really, god, just the talking is so hard he feels like he might black out. And then Karkat eases up.

 _“Do you really think I’m like that?”_ Karkat breathes out.

It takes Dave a minute to respond, distracted by moving each of his fingers one by one, testing his regained control.

“Then why can’t you just let me remember, dude?” Dave is positive he sounds more pathetic than intended.

_“I swear to fuck, swear to literal fuck, if you give me any shit for letting you remember, I will skin you alive.”_

“Wait, you’re- you’re doing it man? You’re just giving in? Holy shit.”

_“Jesus Christ, you sound disappointed.”_

“No, I mean, I just thought it’d be more of a fight, bro.”

 _“I am_ tired _of fighting.”_

“Of fighting me?”

Something like guilt washes over Dave because, no, naw, it’s not just him. He was there in Karkat’s memories, staring down Karkat’s face, his blood, knowing something was wrong. _Mutant_ , he thinks. It’s Karkat’s word, not his.

 _“You think being a mutant is all I’m upset about, fucknugget? Sorry those five minutes of sorting through memories of my entire goddamn life was too much for your soft thinkpan, but if you’ll think back into the recent past, you might remember how difficult it was for you to even talk when I was controlling your body. You think it’s been easy for me to just talk to you casually these past three weeks? I’m fucking tired of fighting some stupid human boy over control of a body I never wanted.”_ Karkat says.

Dave is sure he’ll regret it as he does it, but he shifts himself aside, mentally, makes more room for the demon inside him.

 _“It’s a little too late to start feeling bad for me. And you’re doing it wrong, anyway. Think you would have had a fucking handle on this by now, fuck.”_ Karkat rolls Dave’s eyes.

They both shut up, uncomfortable, so silent they can hear the maggots wriggling around inside Jade. They step back from her, a mutual choice, lean up against the wall. Dave finds himself smiling, wryly- it’s the same wall he’d braced himself against when Dirk had tried to summon Cal into this world.

 _“You’ve seen too many corpses for a human.”_ Karkat comments.

“Are you going to let me see how she died?” Dave asks.

_“Try remembering again. I’ll… make it easier.”_

Dave never really anticipated that his recent binge drinking would serve him any good, but those dozens of mornings he’s spent bent over the toilet racking his brain for what the fuck he got up to the night before is really helping with the searching-for-his-stolen-memories thing right now. He knows exactly what trying to remember something that never quite got encoded right feels like, only this time Karkat’s making it easier for him, planting them in a place he can grab for.

_Dave is back in his apartment, three weeks ago, head eerily void of demon. He’s got a phone pressed up against his ear, Jade screaming at him from the other end of the line._

_“I told you I know what I’m doing Dave! I can fix this!” She’s saying. It’s loud wherever she is, all wind and car horns like she’s speeding down the highway._

_“That’s not what I asked, dude. I asked if you knew what the fuck book that was.” Dave responds. Jade is all quiet on the other end, so he continues, “Tell me where you’re going with it, Harley, let me help you.”_

_“We both know you aren’t going to help! I am not letting them take him from me, Dave! I have to save him, I have to.” She sounds hysterical, which isn’t so out of place anymore, really._

_“Where the fuck are you going, Jade?” He’s pulled her out of John’s grave once before, and he ain’t afraid to do it again._

_“You know where I’m going.” She says it cold, like it’s too late to stop her._

_Dave realizes that, yeah, it might be. “Are you- holy shit, Jade Harley, tell me you’re not going where I think you’re going.”_

_“I needed privacy. I needed somewhere that no one else could get hurt.” There’s remorse in her tone, but Dave doesn’t think it’s enough._

_“Jesus, Jade, don’t you remember the shit he did to me there?” There’s an implied ‘how could you?’._

_She stays quiet for a long while, and then there’s static on the phone._

_Dave nearly trips down the stairs running to his car._

_He doesn’t bother trying to remember the three-hour ride there, the thirty-six voicemails he left for her, the cop car he out-raced when it tried to pull him over. He skips straight to busting down the door to Dirk’s shitty cabin._

_Jade stares at him, wide eyed. Shit, not at him, through him. She’s all caught up in reading out of this book and the spell’s taken her over. He sees her own notes scattered around this blood circle she’s drawn, hand still dripping from the wound she inflicted on herself to create it._

_“Fuck.” He hears himself curse, loud._

_He wishes the words she was spewing out in some foreign tongue weren’t so familiar, but he remembers them like lyrics to his favorite jam. Bro spoke those same words standing in that same spot, trying to drag Cal into the world of the living. Whatever the fuck alterations she was trying to make to this spell ain’t working. It’s taken over her, eyes glazed over, and all she’s doing is invoking some batshit magic that’s gonna wind up tearing apart her body and sewing it back together with a demon inside._

_Past and fucking present Dave try desperately to ignore the absolute best fucking way this could have gone down. The version of the story where Jade, beautiful controlling Jade, throws away her own life and flesh to bring her dead brother back to life._

_Yeah, Dave doesn’t think about that. Dave doesn’t think at all. His body moves on its goddamn own, rash and stupid, jumps itself right into the middle of Jade’s blood circle, right into danger, right into the spot he’d scratched his way out of with bro not nearly long enough ago for this not to fuck him up._

_It hurts. The second he crosses face first into this fucked up circle she’s drawn in her own blood on the floor the magic works its way between his joints, works at breaking them apart. It makes it harder to grab for her, but he does it, he has to; her eyes are bleeding._

_“Jade! Fuck, Jade, holy fuck stop, you’ve gotta stop man, please.” He grabs at her, light at first, harder when she doesn’t respond. His fingers are on her shoulder, her back, her arms, her neck. She doesn’t let up the reading. He’s got a nosebleed. He grips her so hard he leaves bruises on her collarbone. She still hasn’t looked at him, not one fucking time, and he is desperate to make her stop, to get this pain to go away._

_His skin is starting to crack apart when he pushes her to the ground. He falls on her, unable to keep his balance. It knocks the book out of her grasp and he takes the opportunity to kick it out of the circle altogether._

_The bleeding stops. The pain cools down._

_She looks at him for the first time since he walked in, grateful, relieved, disappointed._

_“I just want to bring him back.” She says._

_“I’m so glad you’re safe.” He ignores her, pulling her up to her knees, embracing her against his chest._

_He regrets saying it when she feels him smirk against his chest, knows he’s jinxed them._

_He had them sitting in an open blood circle. No, she hadn’t finished the spell. She hadn’t managed to make a demon corporeal at the price of their bodies._

_But the portal to hell was still open, and they were directly in the center of it._

_Well, them, and the demon now glowering at him from behind Jade’s eyes._

_“Dave.”_ Karkat pulls him back to the present. Dude must have seized control of his right hand again, too, cuz its fingertips are tracing comforting circles around his chest. Dave doesn’t make him stop.

“I let her get possessed, man. Fuck, fuck, was it you? Was it you?” Dave knows it wasn’t. That grin the demon inside Jade gave him, that wasn’t Karkat. Dave has seen Karkat’s memories, has been all up close and personal with his soul for weeks now, and there’s nothing as sinister about Karkat as there was in the smile that demon shot him.

 _“Her name was Vriska.”_ Karkat tells him, and then: “ _You don’t have to see the rest. You don’t want to see the rest.”_

“I don’t want to see the rest.” Dave agrees. He feels Karkat relax inside him, feels relief pour through the demon until he finishes: “But I gotta.”

Dave doesn’t have to reach for the memory this time, Karkat throws it at him full force.

_“Jade? Jade, Jade, Jade, god, no, Jade.” Dave blurts out, holding his friend by the shoulders at arms length. She stares him down, unblinking, smile still plastered on her face._

_“Jade’s a little tied up at the moment, can I please take a message?” The words are coming out of Jade’s mouth but they definitely aren’t hers. They’re too high, too drawn out._

_“What the fuck is your name, demon?” Dave spits. He’s already rehearsing exorcisms in his head, trying to get the words right._

_“It’s Vriska, darling. I’d say you’d better get used to it, but I don’t think I’ll let you live that long.” The demon cracks Jade’s knuckles._

_Dave is going for his sword when it feels like his body catches fire, but it’s gone so fast he has an easy time brushing it off as a side effect of the magic Jade was conjuring._

_“Hate to tell ya, but you kinda picked the wrong friend group to fuck with.” Dave tells her, taking a step forward._

_The demon throws Jade’s head back and laughs._

_“Karkat? She sent YOU after me? Oh, this is brilliant.” She cackles._

_“Shit I know demons are supposed to get a little messed up in the fight to take over a human’s body, but you might want to try to pull it together if you’re actually trying to freak me out yo. The name’s Dave, not Karkat.” He tells her. She just keeps laughing._

_Then he hears the voice in his head:_

_‘She’s talking to me, fuck up. Seriously, you were raised by Dirk fucking Strider and you’re telling me you don’t know what if feels like to get possessed?’_

_“Oh, shit.” Dave says aloud._

_The demon starts cackling again, inside Jade’s body, like she knows Dave has finally figured out just how completely fucked he is._

_‘I’m going to have to take over your body, pal.’ Karkat tells him inside his head._

_“Oh, fuck no. You think I lived through bro just to be taken out here you piece of shit?” Dave responds aloud._

_‘I don’t have time to argue with you, flesh lump, stop fighting me!’ Karkat shouts internally._

_Dave keeps fighting. He told himself he was done with the demon shit when bro died. This is not how he’s going out, this is not how he’s going out-_

_He’s so distracted fighting off this monster inside him, he barely notices when Vriska uses Jade’s warm hands to hold him up by his throat. Fuck, god, that’s not Jade’s strength. That’s some terrifying magic bullshit._

_“You think Terezi will cry if I kill you, Karkat? I know this human bitch is sobbing about me killing this freak of a body you’ve taken over.” Vriska hums, looking Dave over like a piece of meat._

_Dave claws at her, desperate to break out of her grasp before she breaks his neck. He can’t let Jade watch him get killed, he won’t do that shit to her._

_‘Let me fight her jackass.’ Karkat persists inside him._

_‘Fuck you.’ He shoots back._

_Dave has seen enough demons in his time to know not to fucking trust one. Especially not the kind that burrow into your head._

_‘I wish I had the time to critique every asinine thought spilling through your thinkpan right now, but if you haven’t fucking noticed she is literally choking us. Stop fighting me, let me_ stop _her.’ Karkat hisses._

_Something about the tone in Karkat’s voice has him wanting to piss the dude off. He uses that motivation to draw his legs to his chest (still held up by nothing but his neck- thank hell for the extra ab exercises he’s been working into his routine at the gym) and kicks at Vriska- at Jade- hard. She wasn’t expecting him to fight back, and it knocks her off balance, if only for a moment. It’s long enough for Dave to unsheathe his sword and attack her with the blunt end of it, knocking her to the ground._

_“Jade, fight her, man, fucking fight her. I know you can do it, Harley, don’t let her take over you.” Dave croaks out, windpipe still sore from being quite nearly choked to death._

_‘It’s cute that you’re trying to save your little friend, but she’s gone, dimwit. Let me take care of this!’ Karkat won’t let up with this shit, keeps trying to steal control of his vocal cords. Dave ain’t having that shit._

_“Nah” He responds._

_‘Fucking christ, at least destroy the circle. Unless this little party isn’t fun enough for you yet. You want more demons ripping through the barrier into this dimension?’ Karkat scolds._

_That’s actually pretty solid advice that, really, Dave should have thought of himself. He scratches a hole in the blood circle Jade’s drawn, releasing the magic. Ain’t nothing else crawling out of hell today._

_“Dave!” Jade shrieks. At least, he thinks it’s Jade, staring at him wide-eyed from her knees, tearing at her scalp like it’ll help get this demon out of her head._

_“Jade, fight her. I’ve got one inside me too, alright? They’re loud but I’ve got him under control, you can beat this, you can beat-“ He’s cut off by Karkat who completely floors him fighting for control of the body they share._

_“You think it’s easy to fight me off? Fuck you, human, fuck your cocky bullshit.” Karkat has total control over him, now, is using his still-sore vocal chords to scream at him._

_“Dave! Dave, I can’t let her do this!” Jade is sobbing four feet away from him. He’s still pinned to the floor by Karkat. It takes everything in him, all his strength and determination and pain, to lift his head up to see her._

_Her hand shakes as it reaches out toward him. There’s still blood caked on her face from earlier, eyes bloodshot from her fight for control with Vriska. Oh, god, hell, she’s not reaching for him, she’s reaching for his sword._

_“Jade, no no god fight her fuck, Jade!” Dave pleads._

_“She’s awful, Dave, I can’t- I have to stop her-“ Tears stream down Jade’s face._

_“Dave, she’s going to kill us, let me-“ Karkat begins, his words halted by the clumsy swing of a sword piercing directly through Jade’s heart._

_“NO!” Dave and Karkat, in unison._

_Jade stands, shoulders dropped, hands slipping slowly from the hilt of the sword._

_“Dave, I- I couldn’t let her- I’m sorry- I’m- sorry-“ She drops to her knees, blood pooling in her mouth._

_Dave tries to crawl towards her but Karkat has him backing up, skittering across the floor as far away from her as he can manage._

_Jade starts laughing. No, no, hell, not Jade. Vriska._

_“Stupid little girl, wasted all her energy killing herself. She should have known a powerful demon can keep a dying body alive well after its expiration date. Or did you never teach her that, Strider? You were always keeping things from her… she hated that, human, even now, even as she was dying.” Vriska pulls the sword out of her body slow, grimacing._

_‘We have to kill her.” Karkat sounds panicked in his head._

_‘I can’t let Jade die.’ Dave thinks back at him._

_‘She is already_ dead _, Strider.’ Karkat retorts. Dave hates the way this demon knows his name, has picked apart his brain. ‘I can guarn-fucking-tee it’s no picnic having to hear your thoughts either, shit brain.’_

_Karkat tries to move him again, but Dave clings to his body. If he’s going out here, it’s going be as himself, not under the control of the monster in his mind._

_‘You think this is just about you? You think I left my friends just to fuck with your pathetic life? I have to stop her, jackass! She’s not just here to kill Jade, she’s here to kill everyone. She will fuck up the balance of_ everything. _You have to let me do this, you have to let me stop her.’ Karkat sounds desperate._

_‘Why the fuck should I believe you?’ Dave asks._

_‘Vriska is bad fucking news, okay? No one wants her corporeal. Not you, not me.’_

_‘Tell me how that’s different from any other demon.’ Dave’s seen plenty of them._

_‘Tell me you want something like her roaming the earth in Jade’s body.’ Karkat counters._

_Fuck._

_“I don’t think I can kill her.” Dave says it aloud, watching Vriska wipe Jade’s blood from his sword._

_‘Let me.’ Karkat says._

_“I can’t watch myself do this to her.” Dave shakes his head._

_‘I can make you forget.’ Karkat promises._

_“You’ll give me my body back after?”_

_‘I don’t know how to get out of you.’_

_“But you’ll pretend like you’re gone.” It isn’t a question so much as a demand._

_‘Fine.’_

_“Shit.”_

_‘Thank you.’_

_Dave lets go, stops grasping for control of his hands, his legs, his head. It ain’t even hard, when Karkat has been clawing for access this whole time. He just lets it all drop off, and shit fades to black. His mouth tastes like blood._

It still tastes like blood in the present.

“What happened?” Dave asks.

“ _I think it’s pretty fucking obvious.”_ Karkat responds, both their gazes fixated on Jade’s head all separate from her body.

“I just fuckin’ let you kill her.” He states.

 _“She killed herself.”_ Karkat corrects.

“You’ve got that memory, right? Of you…” Dave trails off, uncharacteristically at a loss for words.

“ _Of Vriska beating the living hell out of me until I lucked out and cut her head off? That really something you want me to show you?”_ Karkat asks, knowing damn well what the answer is.

“Dude, I don’t think I can live with that memory inside me.” Dave agrees.

 _“Finally listening to reason. Thank fuck. Now can we get the hell out of here?”_ Karkat grumbles.

“Nah, dude, I- I can’t live with that memory _inside_ me.” Dave says again.

 _“Too fucking bad I’m literally trapped inside your body. We don’t really have any fucking options.”_ Karkat argues.

Dave stays silent. Eyes the book four feet away from him. The book Jade tried to use to bring John back. The book that tore Dirk apart making Cal corporeal.

 _“Oh, my god, don’t. Do not- do not do this oh shit oh shit oh shit.”_ Karkat’s freaking out.

“I’ve seen this spell in action twice, Karkat. I- I know where they went wrong, I can fix that shit. Give you a body. Get you out of my head with that memory, that fucking- fuck- I can’t dude, I’ve got to get it out.” Dave is moving quickly, sweeping up all of Jades notes, trying to pry the book with this horrifying magic in it out from under her corpse.

 _“Oh right of course that’s your plan! Why the fuck wouldn’t you think of the absolute most suicidal solution possible! Dave, are you fucking kidding me? You just going to sacrifice your own body to bring me into the world? I won’t fucking_ let _you. I am not letting you die.”_ Karkat’s voice is full of resolve.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll just, I’ll just use her okay? And since you’re already here on earth we won’t need a summoning circle or anything, so no risk of any more Vriska’s coming through, right?” Even as he’s saying it, Dave knows how out of his mind he sounds.

 _“Dave, how the fuck will you be able to live with yourself knowing you did that to her body?”_ Karkat questions, sincerely.

“How the fuck can I live with a demon inside me? How the fuck could I live just, just letting you fucking die- letting _me_ die- exorcising you? This, this is the only way dude, okay? This is the only way we both get out of this alive.” Dave tries convincing Karkat. Or maybe himself.

 _“There isn’t enough left of her Strider! Stop this! Fucking stop!”_ There are tears coming out of his eyes, all Karkat’s doing.

“I’m not going to let someone else I love die here, okay? Just shut the fuck up, I’ve got this.”

And then he’s reading. Or, okay, less reading so much as really aggressively making up some Frankenstein spell off the top of his goddamn head using about six different languages and a sick concoction of Jade and Dirk’s notes. Dave figures it’s working when his vision goes black.

 _‘Dave! It isn’t enough, I fucking told you it wasn’t enough! You’re going to kill the both of us!’_ Karkat is yelling somewhere in his head, or maybe out loud. Dave doesn’t really have enough spatial awareness amidst the roar of the magic to really place it.

Doesn’t matter, Karkat didn’t have to say shit. Dave feels it plenty himself, the spell trying to tear bits of him off in an effort to make up for the completely shit flesh sacrifice he was offering up. It’s funny, really, how much less it hurts this time- less than when bro was trying to sacrifice him to Cal, less than when he got caught up in Jade sacrificing herself for John. He wonders if he’s gotten used to it, or if your bones trying to leave their sockets just hurts less when you’re the one in control of the whole process.

There’s a finality to it this time, a point at which his skin and muscles actually do rip apart from his bones. It’s hot, and red, and he screams. God, hell, he screams. It’s not like the other times where the pain just goes away when the spell gets interrupted. It’s still there, worse, throbbing, crushing. He sees his hands, first, skin torn off in ribbons, no muscle left on his fingers past his knuckles. The searing pain on his chest has him choking for breath, and then laughing- his stupid goddamn tits are completely torn off. He’d be happy, if the pools of blood forming in their place weren’t terrifying.

“You dead?” A high pitched voice croaks next to him.

Holy shit, Karkat is alive.

“Sorta.” Dave replies, and dares a look to the left. Karkat looks significantly less fucked. He’s bloody, sure, and there are strips of flesh across his sides that never attached, but there’s no _bone_ showing. Just a grey, naked demon gasping for breath.

“It feels too quiet in my head without your bullshit plaguing my thoughts.” Karkat complains. And, yeah, Dave agrees. Being alone in his head isn’t what it used to be.

Lucky he’ll probably bleed out before he has to come to terms with how fucked up that is.

“Karkat, man, I, uh, fuck.” Talking _hurts._

“I won’t let you die here.” Karkat says.

“I fucked up.” Dave ignores him, knowing damn well that he definitely dies here.

Karkat pauses, and then: “No shit.”

The beating of Dave’s heart is killing him, crashing against ribs that are way too weak.

“Oh, shit. I invited Rose over for lunch.” Dave remembers.

Karkat groans, “You think we’ll bleed out before she figures out where we are?”

“I mean, the other option is her finding me here holding hands with a demon and killing us both herself.” Dave chuckles.

It barely even hurts Dave when Karkat actually grabs for his mangled hand, like his brain is too busy processing the rest of his pain to pay much attention to it. Or like it’s mostly bone so there aren’t any nerves left.

“Guess if I had to die here, it’s cool to do it next to you.” Dave’s not sure who says it, this time because of the blood loss (The blood loss, he thinks, is more confusing than having someone else commandeering your vocal cords). Doesn’t matter, either way. They were both thinking it.

Dave starts laughing first (and hell, _that_ hurts). Karkat throws him a quick, “And what the fuck is so funny about this?” before giving in and cracking up along side him.

**Author's Note:**

> i am unsatisfied with the ending
> 
> pls feel free to leave feedback, i am trying to get better


End file.
